


Adventures of a curious Adarian. Chronicles.

by CMDAK, Tsuyu



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies), SPECTRE (2015), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: AI, Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Culture, Alien Technology, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M, Very long, this is long
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 38,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMDAK/pseuds/CMDAK, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsuyu/pseuds/Tsuyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Strange circumstances lead Commander James Bond onto an abandoned ship which is actually not as deserted as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures of a curious Adarian. Chronicles.

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to our darling Boffin.
> 
> Also, this was written purely on Facebook messenger so if you see leftovers of any glaring mistakes, feel free to point it out! :3
> 
> And most importantly, enjoy!

Saying that he woke up would be a bad way of putting things, but the process he went through was something like that. He was idling, his brain somewhere between reality and the world he liked to create in the little box his consciousness resided in when he wasn't needed, when he felt that someone actually managed to open his doors - an incredible feat as no one got inside,  unless he wanted them to.  
  
It was easy to track down where the intruder was, his microphones picking up the hissed cursing and his motion detectors tingling when the keyboard was hit because the control panel refused to light up, so he materialized right in the command room, glaring at the man who was sitting down.  "Unauthorized personnel may not use any device or vehicle that is logged in as belonging to this country's special M.I unit, no matter the relationship between them and an active employee," he said in the most bored and robotic voice he could muster. "That means that this ship will not budge no matter how hard you hit that Start button, you neanderthal," he added when he saw that the man completely ignored him and continued to curse.

  
"If you are going to be of no help please do shut up and don't bother me. I am quite busy trying not to get killed." The man was busy slamming any and every key on the console.

  
"Please refrain from damaging the property of M.I. Unit. Are they shooting at us?" Q he quickly wiped his pixelated head around to look outside. There indeed were men trying to shoot the doors out. One of the many doors he had for exit and entrance.  "Well, that I'd even more unacceptable that you manhandling me," Q muttered, narrowing his eyes as a few lights came up on the console and an invisible shield appeared around the ship. “Now you..." he sent a little shock through the terminal that the man was manhandling, hands on his hips. “Pay attention when someone is talking to you."

  
The shooting on the ship continued and the man was looking unfazed even if a little electrocuted. He was blonde, blue eyed, typical human. He looked curiously at the hologram that looked pissed off if that was even possible. "I can not stand this... This madness... Oh look, they are firing laser beams at me. How outrageous!"

  
"You know what would get them to stops doing that?" The blond man asked, slamming his fists against the console.

  
“Me kicking you out?" Q asked, sending out a slightly stronger jolt of energy through the console. He detected a heartbeat, a pulse, and he had a heat signature so why wasn't he reacting?  
   
"No, you bunch of metal and wires and a fancy hologram of a shit, getting out of here would do the thing! And stop with the electricity, it's getting annoying!" The man continued to slam at the console and random buttons accidentally turning the speakers on in the engine section.

  
"Could you please stop...." There was a big explosion and the hologram frowned.

  
"If I stop, they'll get through you lame shield, melt your bloody door and kill me. So no, I can't." The man shouted at him.

 

Q really got angry and with a wave of fingers, the ship came to life and the seat belt wrapped itself around the man in a way that it shouldn't, engines humming as the ship suddenly shot up in the air, leaving the attackers hurt and temporarily deaf. “I am taking you to commander M."

  
"The hell you are, you heap of bolts," the man protested as he struggled to free himself.

  
"I can assure you, it is impossible to get free from the..." Hologram suddenly stopped speaking when the outrageous man freed one of his hands from the belt and was again pressing on the buttons. "If you stopped pressing the buttons, we won't lose any things that are in the cargo section!"

  
"And if you will take me to commander M, she will kill me and dismantle you!"

  
Q snorted and James was shocked, because holograms did not really do that. This program, this set of zeroes and ones and whatever else it had been used to form him had what appeared to be an actual personality. "I am not going to be dismantled. The men who dared to scorch my doors, however..." He trailed off and leaned over the man's hands, trying to slap them away. "Stop pushing those already! They are not activated and all you are doing is poking me and it is really becoming annoying, you pest." He increased the speed and this time sent enough electrical current through the seat belt to force the intruder's muscles to cramp up and temporarily paralyze him.

  
The man was temporary shocked silent, while the hologram concentrated and some buttons blinked and light up but others remained blinking. "Oh come on, turn up! Turn up..."

 

The hologram's head whipped round and blonde could actually see the individual hairs on the head, curls and even stray strands standing up in most weird positions. It flickered and was gone. The man could feel the speed picking but the ship couldn't reach and jump to speed of light.  "What did you do? Why are you on the run?" The hologram's voice from the speaker, sounding upset - which really shouldn't because computer programs could not feel anything. "And take your time, at the way we are moving, we will get to commander's M office in about 2 days."

  
"I... Well if you are dragging me to M, I will be dead soon, so I can tell you anyway." He struggled with the belt. "High council is trying to have a riot in the Alliance headquarters, Helliot. And I was trying to stop the man, C, who is trying to kill the High Chef during the annual meeting.... And I failed and the people who tried to kill me are his henchmen." The man sighed. "And when you get me to M, she will shoot me on sight." He sagged in the chair.

  
"Do you have a name?" Hologram flickered back next to the man and bent at the waist to look at the blonde with narrow eyes.

  
"Commander Bond, James Bond, at your service."

  
The hologram tilted his - because he was much too human for James to call him an it - and his apparently green eyes went blank for a moment. "Yes, you are listed as a traitor in every database in the universe and C is the one who gave the order," the hologram said slowly, straightening his back and his glasses. "Though the way you were smashing the console earlier makes me doubt that you're a real Commander."

 

"What's your deal? What's your name and why did we stop?" The seat belt disappeared and the ship came to a complete stop, just two lights remaining on.   
   
The hologram narrowed his eyes at him. "I am QT007 model, used for United Nations to help transport victims of war to safer locations..." He raised his finger when Bond tried to open his mouth. "And if you call me Qtie I will shock you so much like that stupid Sergeant Trevelyan, whose hair got white instead. I never saw that happen." His eyes glossed over and then focused back on the man. "Do you eat, sleep or anything else, I should know?"

  
James snorted. “Unlike Alec, I don't have the habit of crushing on computer programs." And now he knew why his friend was like that and why he said it was a cutie who did it to him. Figures that the man would have used a pun to tell the truth. “And I am human, so of course I do all of those things. Why do you ask and, again, why did we stop?"

  
The hologram's eye was twitching and James thought that it was a glitch, but before he could hit the console again to try and fix it, he realized that Q was annoyed. “First of all, Bond, I am more than a computer program. I am capable of thinking on my own and of feelings emotions because I am human. And we've stopped because I am still thinking of what to do with you."

  
James blinked slowly, shocked. “You’re human?" He stuck his hand through Q’s chest and moved it up and down a few times before disappeared and reappeared behind him.

  
“I can't feel that, but it annoys me so stop it," Q grumbled, suddenly cutting off the artificial gravity. “Do it again and I will turn it back on when you are near the ceiling."

  
"It is unlikely you are a human being, Q!" James slowly picked himself up from the ground where he had fallen from around half a meter up.

  
The hologram widened his stance and suddenly had hands on his hips. "It is not likely that any human being, old or young is going to believe what a vehicle of intergalactic travels is saying, but I am certain you've already noticed the tiny details that I am certain annoy you." He smirked and the ship suddenly surged forward just to stop not a minute later. "While we are out in the air and alone, I need to charge the ship batteries, so if you would be so kind and sit still for some time."

  
Bond blinked when the hologram was gone from the captain's deck. It was becoming ridiculous. No wonder the ship was standing in repairs.  No AI could even begin pretending to be a human being and this one believed he was one. "Oh god, I am referring to it as 'him'! I must be going out of my mind!" Commander muttered to himself and wiped the invisible sweat from his forehead.

 

"You were saying?" The hologram was at his shoulder, looking at the vast space with narrowed eyes.

  
"Could you please stop doing this? I might look old, but I am actually over 40 and while the possibility of me getting a heart attack is not likely, you might cause me more grey hairs than I want to have!"

  
"I am currently monitoring your heart as well as all your body functions so I know you are not even close to getting one." He crossed his hands over his chest and looked smugly at James, tempted to stick his tongue out at him. “Are you always this dramatic?"

  
"Are you always this defective?" James growled back, starting to run his hand through the hologram just because he could.

  
Q’s body disappeared, but his voice was still coming from the coms. "I am not defective. I am working perfectly, but I have an attitude."

  
"Do you think there is a room where I could have a rest?" Bond suddenly asked. Looking at the passing stars and planets, as they were traveling so slowly and certainly not at speed of light.

  
"Yes, follow the trail of light outside of the captain's deck. I prepared you a room in the living quarters." The coms shut up and no matter how many times Bond tried to call Q back, the hologram didn't reply nor to his requests nor his threats.

  
Standing up and groaning Bond went out, deck's doors hissing to a close and beeping with a lock activation. There was a light trail just as Q has said. It took Bond to an elevator. Once inside the robotic voice echoed in a closed up space. "Lift going up." Bond even started whistling but he had to stop because his headache renewed itself as soon as he left the deck. "Doors opening, living quarters." The doors hissed to open and Bond decided he was beyond tired as he just saw a cat running past him. When the elevator closed the light trail led him to the left but he was so sure there was just another cat that ran past him to the right.

  
He rubbed his eyes and thought for a moment to follow the cat he thought he saw, but the yawn that almost broke his jaw forced him to go in his room. If the cat was really there - which wouldn't have surprised him since the ship's hologram needed a serious reboot of he thought himself human so the ship might have been there for a long time and infested with rodents and cats- then he would follow it when he woke up.

  
"Do you have water? Like clean water that I can drink and maybe a pill for the bloody headache you gave me?" He asked but of course Q did not show up. However, a little bottle and a pill shot out from the side of the wall, almost hitting James in the face - and he opted to read this as a request to go die. Taking the pill, which was as big as the horse and drinking the water which tasted stale, Bond pulled out the blanket from the closet and even found a pair of sweatpants and tshirt he could change into.  


Frowning at the window which he couldn't shade to dark, Bond finally lay under the duvet. He already felt the pill working and closed his eyes. He will have to deal with the rogue AI once he does not have a splitting headache that threatened to crack his skull open.  


Q missed feeling the sun. He missed his eyes starting to sting and water if he started too much at it. He missed getting sunburned. Now, all the sun did to him was make him more transparent and force him to increase the contrast so whoever was manning the ship could see him properly without squinting their eyes. That was why he usually liked the ship to be bathing in light when he was recharging, leaving the living quarters completely shaded, but since that horribly ride man was there, he was going to temporarily blind him.  


The ship was quite advanced and it had the capability to project his hologram outside as long as the distance didn't exceed 5 kilometers so that is what he did, giving up on clothes and pretended to actually feel the lack of gravity.  
Floating around the ship and pretending to dip in the rays of sun Q felt almost free. He was almost always subdued. He didn't want humans on his ship, they usually made him feel melancholy, reminding him too much of his mother with all the feelings. He was better off in an alien world, helping refugees that were not human beings.  


Q floated past the room the annoying man was residing in. He curiously peered in, even though he no longer had a body, he was still naturally curious about everything.  


The man was bathed in such bright light he almost looked without hair and he was tossing and turning in his bed, his legs twisted between the sheets and the duvet Q drug out from the deepest storage unit and hoped that it stank of something that made the man hate the ship even more and leave faster.  


Then he noticed all the cuts and scars and for a moment, he almost manifested inside the man's room, but held back from doing so. He moved to the door that had been assaulted and frowned, pretending to trace the faint marks left in it. "I should have him pay for this," he told himself and a beep from within the ship announced him that the batteries were fully charged. He could lower all the light shields now, but that might make the man feel comfortable so that was out of the question.  


Bond opened his eyes because he felt someone watching him. It was ridiculous he knew but he still felt the gaze on his back.  
"Why is it so bright?" He slowly turned to the window and was on his feet in an instant, feeling so scared for his life. "Q!!! Q!!!! You piece of bolts and wires!!! Oh god, I am going to die in a BLOODY SUN!!! Q!!!!"

 

He ran from his room, almost tripped on another cat that was roaming in the corridors and ran to the elevator. "CAPTAIN'S DECK!!!" He bellowed.  


"Lift going up, captain's deck!"

 

Instead of going up Bond felt that the lift was barely moving. "Oh come on, move faster, you scrap of metal!"  


Q rolled his eyes. He didn't want to have him scream insults on the corridors of his ships while his body signals were going through the roof. “If you insult something, it won't move faster," he said lazily, appearing right behind James. “What is it? Did you wet the bed? Did you lose your teeth?"  


"You suicidal piece of..."

 

The lift suddenly stopped altogether and Q had crossed his holographic hands in front of his chest.

 

"You are so keen on proving that you are human that you are going to get me killed! Isn't it against your protocols to kill human beings?" Bond was gesturing wildly. "We are in the bloody sun, you lowered us into a star so you could kill me and melt yourself!"  


Q sighed. “Firstly, I do not have a protocol like that because I am human, not a robot. Secondly, I couldn't care less if you believed me when I told you that I am human or not," a complete lie because he felt like he needed someone to confirm to him that he is still human, "and thirdly, I didn't fly into any star, genius. We're floating around it at a safe distance, do relax before you actually get a heart attack. Although if you did, it would save me a lot of trouble.”  


The doors to captain's deck opened and Bond had to hold onto a wall. They actually were in a star, dipping into it deeper and deeper.  
"Oh do grow some balls!" Q snapped at the man. "After we are done recharging I will need to visit one place and then we can continue to Commander M where I will dispose of you and will be back in the docks."  


Q left Bond still clutching a nearby wall and went to sit into captain's chair. "Now as it seems we are fully recharged, it is time to leave this star and continue onwards"  


Bond threw himself at him, clearly trying to strangle him, falling on the ground pretty hard . "You said we were drifting at a safe distance! Why are you lying? You should not be able to lie! And where are you taking me first? "  


"I lied to calm you down so you wouldn't destroy my microphones. And just... somewhere." He disappeared with a slitter smile on his lips.

 

 James groaned, hitting the ground with his fist.  
"Well at least FEED ME! You... you PRICK!" Bond kicked the captain's chair. He knew he was acting childishly but he was scared of stars, he was in a ship that was having a consciousness and was contradicting everything he had ever knew about artificial intelligence and spaceships altogether.  


There was a beep next to a captain's chair he actually had to blink to believe his eyes. There was a steak and steamed vegetables next to it.  
"Well..." There was annoyed voice. "I am certain, you are hungry!"  


James moved slowly next to the dish and poked it, startled when Q's hand went through it as if he had attempted to slap it away. “I will start giving you nothing but water and stale bread, you Neanderthal!"  


"How was I supposed to know that it was real?" James fumed, now smelling the steak.  


“I could easily eject you in space and you think I poisoned you?" Q threw his hands up and shook his head. “Ungrateful bastard, I hope you choke on it!."  


"I will puke all over the console if I do, I promise."  


The hologram huffed and crossed his hands again. "I am going to leave you to your dinner. When you're done, be so nice to contact me, there are some things I need you to help me with. As much as I am reluctant to admit that!" Q shimmered and disappeared.  


Bond grabbed the metal fork and tore a piece of the steak. As he was putting it into his mouth, he almost choked on it because the hologram dematerialized in front of him.  


"I hope you choke on it and I can dispose of your body by throwing it in space!"  
   
The steak was delicious. He could have done better, of course, but it was the best thing he had in months. A glass of wine would have gone perfectly with it, but James decided not to push it with the defective AI. "Bolts, I am done," he shouted and not a second later, Q was right in front of him. “Sorry to disappoint you by not choking."  


"There is always a next time, Neanderthal, " Q whispered, eyes narrowed, devilish grin on his face.  


Bond could feel the ship ascending from the star and as soon as he could see the darkness of space there were beeps and alarms sounding and Q once again looked pissed off and annoyed.  


"Why are you so important? So you tried to stop an assassination and now they are hunting you?" The hologram was at the main console, looking intently at the buttons and other controls and the wrinkle between his eyes was getting deeper and deeper. Before Bond could ask who he was designed according to, there was firing and Q was cursing like mad. "Stupid... So bloody... Stupid... Will never... Surely trust... human... Never again... Now we are... Going to die... Because..."  


"Q? Q? What's wrong?"  


"You are here! That's what's wrong!!!”

 

"If I am here I can help you. Just unlock the main console and let me do it. Let me guide us to safety and you know you can trust me with this because I don't plan on dying here," James said hurriedly, jumping in the commander's seat, waiting for the panel to light up and for the joysticks to jump up from their locked position.  


"I am used to transport refugees and nothing... Bloody hell, they have it in for you," Q shouted, the ship shaking violently.  


“Did they damage anything important?"  


Tilting his head back, Q's eyes suddenly glowed green and he voice that came out of his mouth sounded more like a proper ship AI should. “Shields 78% damaged. Computer unable to keep them at full capacity unless..."  


"Unless what?" Bond was next to Q in seconds. There was a hissing sound and there were the joysticks.  


"Unless you use those to get us to hyper speed and out of here." Q again sounded like himself and not the AI. "I put in a destination so if you could..." His eyes suddenly glowed green again. "Shields damage 80%!" He looked at Bond again. "Please hurry!"  


Bond was in his seat in seconds, the gear looked rusty like it haven't been used for years and he was already having doubts, but the fear for his own life and that in Q's voice made him realize that while Q was a defective system, he was starting to like him. Pulling the gear with both of his hands, he looked at Q who was trying to bite his own pixelated fingernails and biting his lip while wringing his hands. "Here we go...."  


Whenever he went into light speed, something strange happened to him. A jolt of electricity was sent to his brain via the multitude of invisible waves they cut through and since that was the only real thing he felt in an extremely long while, Q let out a moan.  


James was startled, thinking that something bad had happened and pushed the joystick further still, forcing the engines to reach their full capacity. “Did they hit you? Did the shields drop and they managed to land a hit somewhere important? "  


Q elated his throat, glancing away from James. “Everything is perfectly fine, don't worry."  


"But you let out this-"  


"I said everything is fine," Q snapped and flickered out. "The coordinates I input cannot be changed and you are locked out of a few zones. But the rest are free for you to look at."  
He disappeared in seconds and Bond was left blinking out the strange lights as they were passing through space at an incredible speed.  


Usually Bond traveled in small ships and the feeling was totally different from when traveling in as big as Q was. He slowly stood up and was surprised he didn't feel any residual effects from the space travel. The console was light up in a myriad of lights and Q was nowhere to be seen so he thought it's time to explore the ship.

 

Leaving the deck he went to the right and after traveling left and right and then left to the point he was never finding the way back to the deck he found himself in the observation room. The windows here were even bigger than the ones in the main room. There were quite a few benches and even a few armchairs to sit on. Bond raised his brow but didn't comment. He felt that Q was worried about something and for an AI, even a defective one, to be worried about something was even more worrisome.  


Just as he sat on one of the armchairs, he saw a black panther strolling past him and laying on the ground in front of the centre bench.  
He tried to stay as still as possible, resisting the urge to rub his eyes after blinking and seeing that the cat was still there.  


Well, he ate and he slept? So exhaustion was out of the question. Maybe something had been in the steak and he missed it? "Q?" He whispered, not taking his eyes off of the panther. “Q, please scan the deck I am in if you don't want to come and tell me how many life forms you detect."  


"Bond, you are the sole inhabitant in this ship besides me. And as you... well as you don't even consider me human, you are the only... life form on this ship!" Q's voice sounded from the speakers somewhere next to Bond's elbow. "And why in the bloody hell are you whispering?"  


"Q, are you sure? Like 100% sure?" Bond was hissing now and not taking his eyes off the bloody feline who now had it's front paw stretched out and was gently licking the toebeans.  


James heard something that sounded like Q clicking his tongue. “I am never wrong about things like this, Bond. I may be dusty and a bit rusty, but everything is working just fine."  


"Then why is there a panther right in front of me?" James demanded, instantly regretting that he raised his voice because the creature was looking at him. “If he tears me to shreds, he'll mess up this room with my insides! Do something!"  
  
The panther looked at him and then returned to licking the paw.  


"And this is such a nice room! Like observation deck, meaning it's open area and I can't run nor hide!" Bond felt like a small kid trying to convince his parent of his imaginary friend. But the thing was massive and in front of him.  


"Let me temporary shade the windows. How does that sound?"

 

"Q, a panther is a predator on Earth, it means that it hunts at the bloody NIGHT!" Bond actually screeched like a girl and at the same moment panther jumped at his voice and dashed from the room like it's been bitten into it's balls. "Never mind, I.... It doesn't matter Q... I think I am going to sleep now..." He rubbed his face tiredly. There really was something in the food Q gave him, he was sure of it.  


Q made sure that Bond was comfortable this time, even going as far as giving him a new blanket, shading the windows to the point of no sliver if any light entering his room through it, and turning up the temperature to lull him into sleep. Only when he heard him snore lightly and his body signals proved that he truly was asleep did he summon the panther again. "Unwanted guest is still a guest, Bagheera, so please don't let him see you again."  


Although nothing more than a program created by him, he had spent so much time with the creature that it actually managed to force it to develop certain traits that it shouldn't have.  
It continued in a similar manner for a few days. Bond meeting random animals Q had developed through all the time he spent in the ship. Sometimes fretting over them, sometimes not. But what got Q worried was that he stopped eating the food Q produced to him. To the point where he even stopped drinking water and Q had to get a robot to put the persistent man into a bed with a use of a said robot.  
Sometimes he really wished he still had a body, because trying to find a bloody robot who had two arms with which he could lift a human being was tedious.  


"Okay, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?" Q demanded after James had once again turned down his breakfast - the best one Q had made so far, mind you. ” Are you allergic to something in the food? In the water? What? You are a step away from getting an I.V."  


"You are drugging me," James accused him, snarling. “You put something in what you are giving me and you make me see things."  


Q was shocked and insulted. "I am not! If I could, I would eat myself just to prove it to you."  


"Then why did I see a lion just the other day prancing around the main deck?"  


Q started to fidget. “You didn't imagine it. It was... They are..." He sighed and sat next to James, the bed not dipping at all because the AI didn't really exist. "I get lonely so I make them. The animals, that is."  


"Q... I don't want to sound like a cruel bastard because I really started to like you but... You are an AI, and before you start arguing, please let me finish. You are an artificial intelligence, no matter how creative you are or how good at making all those tiny details or even your own hair... You are not real. And you absolutely CAN NOT get or be lonely. And I am sorry... But..." Suddenly there was a lurch and the ship stopped moving.  


It looked like hologram had tears in his eyes. There was alarm sounding somewhere but both disregarded it as there were more pressing issues.  


"Are we being attacked again?" James suddenly was on his feet and swayed again.  


"No... but there is something I want to show you. Could you please meet on the observation deck, commander Bond?" Q was never as formal as he was now. And then he was gone, not shimmering out but just out. There one moment and gone the other one, leaving Bond blinking and confused.  


It took James quite a bit to reach the main deck and he only really got there because a robot helped him. The panels were turned down on the main windows of the deck and the screens were off, Q looking somewhat excited now - so the AI was not only defective to the point he was an actual being and systematically trying to kill him, but he was bipolar.  


“We are a minute away from our destination, " He said, hands clasped in front of his chin.  


“Are you going to kill me by stopping right in the middle of a sun or black hole?"  


Q moved his hand through him as if he was slapping his chest. "You are such a pessimist. I honestly prefer Trevelyan because he was always excited whenever I wanted to tell him or show him something. "  


"Alec lacks the sense of self preservation."  


Q rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I am not an AI--"  


"So you keep claiming."  


"Stop being rude!" Q was swatting at his chest again. James sighed, deciding to give in and play along for the moment. There was lurch he was already accustomed to and a deep moan that came from Q. A second one so Bond wasn't so weirded out by it. Secretly he still found it hot, by hot he meant as hot as it can be for human to like about a defective AI.  


A vast space of nothing greeted them. Not even a single planet or even Bond's dreaded star was on sight. It was all black space and coldness, Bond was sure of it. "Well? What is it?" He was tapping his foot now.  


"No... No, no, no... My calculations. I am never wrong."  


"Well, if I could just look..."  


"This has to be right!" Q's eyes glassed over for a moment, meaning he was all over the spaceship at once and not only with Bond. "This is right. This is the place so where is it?!"

 

Suddenly there was some kind of a crash that hit their shields and another and another and suddenly it seemed that they were in a ring of asteroid trash of what looked like.  


"If you are looking for a planet, it's no longer here. All that is left are those rocks." Bond looked bored now. "Can I return to my quarters and eat my apparently not poisoned food?" He looked at Q and the hologram was actually crying. There were pixelated tears running down his cheeks.  


The ship moved erratically around that one spot, Q uncaring that he was getting hit by rocks. “My home... my home... My family!" He shouted, pixelated tears now cascading in his face. “My kind! My planet! I am alone! Truly alone!"  


The ship was now spinning out of control and James was holding on to the commander's chair for dear life, trying to get Q to listen to him. “You are an AI! You never had all of those things!"  


"I did! I did!" Q insisted. “I did and the planet was so beautiful and the technology so advanced and...and... You are a bloody bastard who only cares about himself and who doesn't deserve anything! I should have poisoned your food! I should have ejected you in space and let you die alone and cold and unable to feel anything like I am!" Q disappeared and the ship suddenly stopped and went completely dark and James felt bad for his words.  


"Q! Q? Q... Are you here? Q?" James whispered quietly. "Q... Please..." The ship was still silent as a graveyard. James sank into the captain's chair. On his right there were so many active buttons he called out a task commander.  


"Requiring all data on the area and this system." He stated with distrust in his voice. Q was rogue AI, and AI's definitely didn't have a family or a planet.  


"Data gathered, displaying on main screen." Woman's voice startled Bond. He straightened his back and what he saw made him gasp.  
He did remember hearing of the species that had inhabited the planet that once was in the exact spot they were floating and the more he wracked his brain, little tidbits of information about them sprung to mind.  


They were beyond good with technology and at one point, they were considered the most advanced race in the entire known universe.  
The data on the screen also claimed that they could infuse their mind and conciseness with computers if they were advanced enough and James was seriously thinking about manually opening the outer doors and fling himself into space.  


"Q... I am sorry... I am so goddamn sorry!" He whispered quietly, hoping the other will hear him. He was stupid. So bloody stupid. Of course he didn't know all things there were. And of course he automatically thought of a defective AI. Nobody thinks about an alien species that can fuse together with an integrated computer systems of a transport ship.  


A black panther was suddenly in front of him, glaring accusingly at the blonde. It turned round and went out of the captain's deck. When James didn't follow, it roared and swished its tail in irritation. Clearly it wanted Bond to follow.

  
Q refused to accept this reality, so he changed the world around him to suit his needs. He was back in the apartment he had right before the accident and his two cats were purring and rubbing against him as his family was just sitting down for their welcome back dinner.  
“We are so happy you came back to us," his mother was saying , changing hair colours a few times just because he wasn't sure of the right shade of brown she had. “We were afraid we had lost you."  


“A pleasure to be back," he said quickly, forcing himself to smile.  


"Come on, Q. Come dine with us!" His mother was gesturing towards the empty chair and the brown haired man all but collapsed next to the table. The people around it were frozen in space and time and apparently forever lost to him.  


***  


"Bloody hell, cat where are you taking me. I have no time to wander the living quarters. I have to find Q and apologise as I've been a RIGHT DICK!" He shouted the last two words hoping Q will hear him. The cat rushed towards him and stopped a paw distance from him, growling. Its eyes looked strange and James was tempted to call it rage, but it did not attack him - not that it could hurt him, James realized.  


“Are you taking me to Q?" The cat gestured towards a door on the left and let out a little while. "Is Q there?" The cat did the same thing as before and James though the program was stopped in a loop, but just as he was about to walk away, the creature ran right in the door and disappeared.  “So I will take that as a 'yes'."  


Bond looked for a lock but there wasn't one. The doors were old fashioned and even had a handle to it. He tried to reach it but his hand went just past it. 'Another bloody hologram.' James thought and when he was still trying to think of unlocking it it hissed and slid to a side revealing the inside. It was quite dark inside but it helped him to see the holograms more clearly. There was actually a table in the middle of a room. A couch a bit farther in. Also something that looked like it was a fusion of tv, computer and sound system in one. Round the table there were five people. Two looked like Q had collected their features 'Q's parents!' Bond's traitorous mind suggested. And other three looked like various versions of Q. Two older and one younger. 'His siblings' The cat was guarding the figure which was collapsed at the head of the table and he could hear the sounds of hiccups.  


"Q?" James said cautiously, slowly moving towards the figure, careful not to bump into anything even though he was aware that everything was a hologram. "Q? Q, I am so--"  


"Darling, it is not polite to sit like that at the table," the woman hologram said suddenly and the room was filled with all sort of noises, birds chirping and cars honking coming from the outside.  


But the noise that was the loudest of them all was Q’s wails and sobs, James heart hurting. “ I am so sorry, mother. I am so so sorry..."  


It all changed suddenly and they were in what looked like a forest with trees so big Bond couldn't see the tops. He could hear the water running somewhere in the fountain or was it a river. Suddenly it looked like a small boy ran through him and along him ran two more kids. They looked more grown up, barefoot and half naked.  


"Q... Please..." The sobbing continued and as Bond wanted to caress the head of messy and fluffy hair it went just through it.  


"Please, leave... I need to be..."  


"No... Please tell me about all of this..."  


"It's no use. You'd still think me a rogue AI that needs dismantling." The panther was hissing at him and now he could see a lion he thought was a hallucination rubbing up against Q in an affectionate way.  


Falling on his knees, James' hand hovered just above Q's. “I will never say or think that again, I swear. And I am sorry for all the hurtful things I said. You will quickly find out that I am the biggest idiot in this universe and I run my mouth without thinking a lot of times."  


Q peeked up at him, his face distorted by tears. “I am utterly and completely alone in this universe," he said weakly. I have nothing left but these memories and-"  


"Me," James interrupted him quickly. "You have me for as long as you want, I promise. I will eat your food and drink your water and stay here with you for a few hours or outside, in the real world for as long as you want. Even if it is just until you give me to M. I'll do whatever you want me to do, save for leaving you alone right now because that is not what you need."  


"I... I..." Q looked at James and the older man could swear he saw hope in his pixilated face. Tears were still cascading down his face but he smiled. "Will you really?"  


Bond just nodded. "For as long as you want."  


"Then it will be forever. I got used to a human being inside the ship. It's like I have a purpose again. And M... I... There are things..." Q scrunched up his face and suddenly they were alone in the room. No more birds chirping or water hurling, no giant cats running around. "M had me under oath that I think he's broken long ago and..."  


"Q... But the current M is a woman." He tried to speak gently.  


The man was up and pacing already. "What?"  


"M is a woman," James said slowly, cursing himself in his mind when he saw how panicked Q looked.  


“What? But...How...Oh no..." A multitude of images started to flash by them, too fast for James to really understand until it stopped on one that looked just like Q. It was a large tank and all sort of wires were connected to it, a large and thick one going right into his spinal cord right under his neck. Two tubes were coming out of his nostrils and his mouth was covered and James realized that this had to be Q's actual body.  


"Does it hurt?" He asked slowly, really hating that he couldn't hug the alien.  


Q shook his head, hand against the tank. “The only thing I feel is when we are in light speed mode and then it is..." His face turned red and it finally dawned on James why it sounded like he was moaning.  


"Do you..."  


"If you continue that trail of thought I am ejecting you into the space..." Q snapped and then returned to caressing the tank.  


"Is that..."  


"Yes, that is my body which I will never see again." Q looked at it with fondness and Bond really couldn't understand how one could live outside of one's body for what seemed like a hundred years in the least.  


An idea entered James's mind and it was so brilliant that he wanted to give himself a pat on the back. "What would happen if we find your body?"  


Q turned to look at him, uncertainty clear in his eyes. "I... would be happy," he said very slowly and it was just cream that he was hiding something.  


"Anything else? Would you suddenly be connected to it if you see it and pop out of the tank? "  


That made Q laugh, but it was a sad one. "Nothing like that since this ship and its main computer is connected to my brain. I'll just... have it and be happy. And safe." He added the last thing in a whisper, touching his face through the tank before shutting down all hologram's and revealing that the room was extremely small. “But I never will."  


"But why not, Q? Why not going back into your body?" The human was persistent and it was starting to annoy Q. "Don't you want to?" Bond added as an afterthought.  


"It's not as if I don't want to..." Q started and then closed his eyes. "I..." He touched his own cheek. "I never will..."  


"Q.... Please, I want to help you..."  


"Bond... I hope you know the previous M was a total bastard. While my species was most peaceful, others wanted to exploit us. And... And M said, that if I fused myself with the ship, he would keep my family along with its people safe..." Q was exiting the room now and James trailed along with a few cats.  


"I am not speaking on behalf of the new or the old M, Q. The new one is a total bitch and I swear she actually, truly hates me. I mean you--"  


"Is there a point to all of this?"  


"Right, right. I am offering to help you get in your body because I want you to be happy and nothing else. I don't expect you to do anything for me."  


Q did not look like he believed him. "Why would you care if u was happy or not? Up until a few minutes ago, I was nothing more than a defective system to you. And you have to want something in return; your kind always does."  
James wondered if he could convince Q of his honesty if he bought something for the ship.  


"You are correct, there is something that I want. I want to stay onboard." He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "That way I can keep you company."  


Q narrowed his eyes. Then disappeared for a moment. Cats were still trailing onwards so he decided to follow them. Ending up in the main observation deck wasn't what he was expecting.  


Q was already there. Pacing in circles. "But why? Why would you want to do something like that for me? It might be dangerous and you could even die? What is there in for you?"  


"I get to stay on a ship that doesn't actually need an outer source of fuel, we can go wherever we want and I am actually enjoying your food!"  


"I thought my food was poisoned or laced with something that made you see things." Of course Q would hold a grudge and damn it, now that he knew he wasn't just a hologram, James paid even more attention to the way his face moved and he couldn't help but find the little frown and the slight pouting of the lips as endearing - not that he wanted to make this a permanent look on the other male's face.  
"Like I said, you will quickly find out that I am one of the dumbest humans in the universe." And as if his brain was trying to prove his point, for a moment he forgot that Q had no mass, so he tried to lean on him. He passed right through him and fell to the ground with a loud thud, groaning as even the cats and other strange creatures that appeared around them seemed to laugh at him while Q did his best to still look upset.  


"Well, you are entertaining, I'll give you that," the hologram murmured, crossing his hands over his chest. "Fine, we have a deal." His eyes lost their colour for a moment and by now, James knew that Q was changing something that had to do with the ship. "There, you are allowed to input whatever coordinates you want and control the ship."  


"Q..."  


"What?" Q looked over at Bond from caressing the black panther. She was certainly his favorite, Bond noticed.  


"Could I get some food. I am getting hungry from all this running and as it seems I am the only alive creature on this ship, I need some sustenance.  


"Oh, fine fine you, insufferable git!" Q's eyes glazed over again. "There, your dinner is waiting!" he waved dispassionately towards the only stuffed chair with a little table next to it.  


James flashed him a smile as he sat down, taking a large bite out of the meat and letting out an exaggerated hum of appreciation. "How could I want to leave this ship when you cook like this, Q?" He wanted to use this opportunity to find out more about him, as he was curious by nature, but he didn't want to risk upsetting him so asking him if he used to be a cook before becoming a ship was abandoned - plus, he realized that he would have to think of the right way to phrase the question.  


"You'll have to leave it to get yourself supplies because while I feed off of star energies, you need to eat that and because your paranoia forced me to go through supplies like mad to feed you..." He trailed off, distracted by the panther who was patting his head with its paw, running his large tongue over his face.  


"Does that mean we have to get out to a planet with food supplies?" Bond was moaning around another mouthful, munching happily on fresh vegetables.  


"That is exactly what it means. I will need to recharge the ship in the next system and then you can think of a planet you want to go so we can get a stock of food." Q was still petting the damn animal.  


"You are an excellent cook, any particular places we need to visit to get food tasting this divine..." Bond hoped his slip of tongue will make things a bit clearer.  


"Now now... This is what Alec was whining about when he said his friend is one lad of a Casanova." Q laughed and conjured up a couch to sit on, with his bare feet dangling over an armrest.  


"I would simply hate to see such talent be wasted on ingredients that are substandard." He was licking the fork now, managing to get some sauce on his fingers because of that.  


Q snorted , shaking his head. "You have a way with words, I will give you that." He stretched and his clothes suddenly changed, a beautiful dark green robe that had a long V-neck replacing the simple suit from before. "I will make you a list, depending on which planet you chose for us to make port."  


"A treasure, you are an actual treasure," James murmured, now licking his fingers. He made a mental note to kick himself later for turning away all the other dishes, but he first had to finish this one.  


"Same thing Alec said while he was wolfing down my food." He opened one eye and glared at James. "And he never accused me of trying to poison him."  


"So, what is our destination?" Q being draped over an armchair even in a pixilated version with a v neck robe was starting to lure him in like a moth into a light.  


"I was thinking... There was one planet in Alpha Centauri system, Orion galaxy, I think you might know it..." Bond smirked. "The one with the high priestess."  


"Oh god... Don't tell me..." Q pulled a face. "Are you the one who impregnated her with 10 kids?" He was up and sitting normally in the armchair.  


"How was I supposed to know she can do that..."  


"Oh god... So Alec wasn't lying?"  


"Sadly, no... I'll understand if you don't want a companion who fathered 10 kids to a 4 armed alien..."  


Q blinked a few times, shock giving way to mild annoyance. "Oh no you don't, Bond! You said you'd help me find my body and you are stuck with me." He turned with his back towards him and the panther started to growl at him, showing its sharp teeth. "Are you really the father of ten kids?"  


"No, their species can collect well cum... And she then can chose which ones she wants to mother and which ones she doesn't." Bond was describing things, showing a disgusted face. "I swear she looks like a normal human woman and not some thing with 4 arms and two heads."  


"That doesn't answer my..."  


"Do not be stupid, Q. I promised I will help you find your body, and I always keep my promises."  


Q wiggled his nose, trying to hide his smile. "You say that now, but I am sure to lose you to a four armed, two headed woman," he whispered loud enough for James to hear, laughing when the man threw his spoon at him.

 

"Also, you are on dish cleaning duty. Good night." He was gone in a flash and a row of lights appeared before James. "You and I both know that all you have to do is think about washing them and something mechanical does. Q? Q, I am a sick man! Q, I am dizzy and I will faint if I have to wash dishes."  


"Lies,Bond! I know the likes of you. Alec taught me as much!" The musical voice sounded just before dying off. Then there was a jolt and they were in the speed of light. Passing through galaxies for their destination.  


James clicked his tongue because Q had cut off the coms before he let out that sound and reluctantly started to flow the row of lights. He couldn't even threaten Q that he wouldn't do a good job because he was going to eat off of them. "So me pushing your joystick was just a one time thing?"  


But Q remained stubbornly silent. He didn't want to admit that he was rusty in the travel of light speed. He's been in the docks, in that ship, hibernating for years. He's even been so scared to check which year it was that he still didn't know and he was dreading to check or ask Bond so it was better to remain unobservant.  
Sleep came a lot easier to James - he was still plagued by questions and possibilities, guilt still gnawing at his brain, but he had only tossed for two hours this time instead of the usual four - and the room somehow felt homier.  


He was startled awake when the ship stopped and he slowly opened his eyes, expecting to be greeted with blinding light, but the windows was shaded enough not to let a single ray of light from the star sneak in. Donned in pajama pants and no shirt because damn it looked like Q made the temperature like in some tropical island he went to observation deck. And he was right. They were once again in a star. He didn't think Q needed to recharge the ship so frequently.  


"Before you think that the ship is leaking power let me tell you that this ship can recharge in stars that are if a particular level. I prefer the supernovas and white dwarfs most because your every day star won't be sufficient to recharge this piece of metal." Q's voice sounded from somewhere above and before Bond could reply he saw the man, because that's what he was, a man. Even if in a shape of a hologram, for now, floating outside of a ship and looking like he was swimming. NAKED.  


Bond flopped gobsmacked on the armchair he considered his at this point. Clearing his throat and shaking his head James decided to not allow Q to see that his body had an effect on him. “Admit it, you just like to swim around."  


Q hummed. “Well, I don't feel the star's heat or the coldness of space, but I like to pretend I do. You see so many things when you are not stuck behind glass or a space suit."  


"And of course being naked has nothing to do with that?" Bond tried to glare at the man and failed because the said man floated out of the area he could see him in.  


"Of course not!" The deep voice sounded from above and then there was laughter while Bond was still frowning.  


"Did you do this Alec was on this ship?" Because if he did and the man didn't share this info with him, he was going to castrate him.  


"When they were all asleep and the commanders usually insisted on all the shades to be down because they were afraid some of the men would go insane, thinking we'd be going in the star." He floated back into view and pushed his face up against the window. "Do you want to swim with me like this?"  


"What? What do you mean?" Bond spluttered.  
Q suddenly was in the observation deck but still floating.  


"Do you," he hovered his finger just above his chest. "Want to swim with me in a sun?"  


If Q had a boy, James would have checked to see if he had a fever. "I have heard of some species which can do this, but I am human and-"  


"I didn't mean for you to physically do it, Bond.I know what humans can and cannot do. I meant for you to do it like me." He pushed his hand through James' chest,smiling. "I think I can even make you feel some sort of tingling sensation; the pleasant kind."  


"Does that mean you can actually conjure me up in a star?" Bond looked amazed at the hologram.  


"Yes, Bond, do you want it or not?" Q laughed and was gone again.  


James pushed himself against the glass, closing his eyes, imagining how it would be. It was a ridiculous question, as humans had dreamed of conquering the stars since forever. He had read about how two countries had rushed to be the first into space and then the first on the Moon, saw the video of the first spaceship carrying a living creature broke the atmosphere - and cried buckets because he was a little boy and knew the dog did not make it back alive - and felt his heart fill with joy when he experienced zero gravity for the first time in his life. But to be in space without a suit....even if it was just his mind...  


"Yes," he breathed out. "Please," he added and if Q was next to him and real, he would have thrown himself at his feet and kissed them.  


"I'll work on the sketches after I am done out here and then add the things I need to your list," Q's voice came from above, his hologram moving even further away from the ship, closer to the star until it started to flicker and it disappeared.  


A sense of panic washed over James when he saw that happening, his mind instantly saying that the man had died. "Q? Q? Q, where are you? Q, are you okay?Q?" He yelled on top of his lungs, hitting the glass with his fists.  


"Do you think even if you break the glass you will be able to save a pixilated hologram?" Q was standing next to him, looking fondly at the other man.  


"Q!" Bond lunged at him and passed right through, hitting the ground, again, he might say.  
The melodious laugh rang through the main deck.  


"Don't be absurd, James," his named sounded so alluring when pronounced by the other man. "I can make up my projection outside the ship as long as it doesn't exceed 2 kilometers..."  


James gathered himself off the floor. "You scared me, Q." Which was strange because he didn't have a habit of getting attached to anyone this fast - though, it might have something to do with the fact that he felt like they were kindred spirits in a way. Q had lost his family just like he had, although the poor man was even more hated by the fates since he was the last of his kind.  


"This time, I really didn't mean to." His hand hovered above James' shoulder, sad that he couldn't actually squeeze it. "When I flicker like that, it just means that I exceeded the range and nothing else, so relax."  


"Can't you increase the range?"  


Q shook his head. "Thing is, I can, but the ship is not powerful enough for that. I miss seeing the worlds." A little compartment opened with a little click to their left and Q almost looked embarrassed. "That's why, when we make port, please take a few pictures for me? Not of women, but of birds and kids playing, of trees and animals."  


James carefully picked up the little device and glanced back at Q. "Anything you want, I promise."  


"I think you should go to sleep." Q said after Bond took the small device. "I will work on the gadget to take you with me into another star and will indulge us when I find the next supernova." He traced Bond's half naked body with his eyes and smirked. "I am sure the voyeur in you will appreciate that!"  


James grinned. "Hey, I know to appreciate a beautiful person when I see one and I wasn't the one prancing around space, buck naked." He ran a hand down his chest, wiggling his eyebrows. "And it looks to me like you are also enjoying what you are seeing."  


"Your body," Q started, face red, "is the type that my people strove to achieve. I am simply remembering how hard I tried to have one."  
He disappeared and James remained silent, trying not to clutch the device tight enough to break it. He had meant to tease the man, not to make him think of his family and his people that were no longer alive - or maybe a few where, who knew for sure? Maybe Q hadn't been the only one who had connected himself to a ship and maybe not everyone was on the planet when THAT happened.  


They were in the star and after he went to sleep he woke up to loads of blinking lights, thinking it was some kind of new version of a star Q dug up somewhere in the abandoned corner of universe he tore his eyes open and saw that they were drifting next to a planet Bond mentioned earlier. And there were lots of various ships, most of them looking new and shiny while the one they were in and which Q was trapped in was rusty one and demanding repairs.  


"Pretty, aren't they?" Q’s voice drifted from somewhere above. “Back when they still used me, I asked if they could upgrade me so I could do more and save even more people, but M rejected my request."  


James frowned and felt his hatred for the old M increase. “Would you mind if I saw you while we talked?"  


Q appeared next to his bed, dressed in what appeared to be pyjamas. “Should I get the food sent here as well?"  


"If you don't mind me eating then, yes please, then." There was a ping and then part of the night stand moved forward and another part of the wall came forward and the food was on it.  


"You still need to tell me how you do this?" James pushed himself up and moved the pillows to sit more comfortably on the bed with his back at the backrest. Taking the plate he saw full English breakfast on it. "I hope you are aware that I am not actually a Brit?" He started slicing the bacon up. "My grandma her mother was a British old woman. She would make me speak to her in the manner even when I was half asleep in the morning when I would be half awake early in the mornings, getting ready for school. I guess in the end it stuck..."  


Q raised his eyebrow. “I am ashamed to admit that I have no idea what a brit is, so I will have to apologize. I am feeding you what little food I have left mixed in the appropriate ways that I have on file on this ship."  


"Oh... Never mind me then, Q. I am just being the most stupid human being in the entire universe!" Bond muttered while wolfing down the food.  


Q sat next to him and watched him eat. Sometimes Bond thought it was with jealousy.  
"We must find your body soon so I can take you to a dinner...."  


"I don't think it will be a good idea..." Q muttered.  


"Why not?"  


"My body... Might not be... To your satisfaction...." Q mumbled and turned his gaze out the window looking at all the other ships out.  


"Oh, wait, you said that my body type is the one your kind strove for." How could a race so advanced as Q's have such a backward way of thinking when it came to their own bodies was beyond him. He was buff because he was a soldier, even if he had a rank. "I find your body to be very much to my satisfaction. Heck, you are a second penis away from being the perfect man as far as most earth women are considered, seeing that you are smart and pleasing to the eye."  


Q narrowed his eyes. "Is crassness an Earth trait? Because Alec was-" He stopped suddenly, eyes wide, lips shaking. "B-Bond?"  


"What's wrong? What happened?"  


"Alec...is Alec still..."  


"Oh lord... You almost gave me a heart attack." Bond smiled at Q. "Yes, Alec is very much alive and kicking. He left the M. I. Service and is now a soldier for hire of you can put it like that." Stage whispering Bond added. "He is now killing people for money!"  


Q's face showed that of relief.  


"Well that's great. He really was something..."  


"He is a straightforward idiot, that's what he is. But to reply to your other question. No, not all humans are as bold as us both. It might be hard to believe but you've just been unlucky to meet the pair of us!"  


Q's eyes suddenly lost focus and when he refocused on Bond he was sad once again. "The guards are trying to check over the ship, apparently wondering who can own a ship this big..."  


"Can you fake the ownership?"  


Q nodded. "Is Alec a wanted man? Because If he's not, I'll simply create a fake fleet number for him and just copy your body heat signature to make it seem like there are more people on this ship since they are looking for a one manned ship."  


"No; he's doing a honest job, even if that is killing for money."  


Q's eyes glazed over once again and after a few tense minutes he focused back on Bond and smiled. "All is done and clear. Now you must go and get supplies before I have to feed you on solar energy and I am sure, as far as I know, human bodies are not made to live off of that." He melted away leaving Bond to his privacy to get changed.  


"We get a really nice tan," James called out after him, picking up the little square that held everything he needed. "Q, about money-"  


"Your accounts have been frozen and I am still working on moving all you own in another account without anyone noticing, but I also managed to take two million credits out of M.I's off planetary accounts, so you don't need to worry."  


James' jaw was on the floor. “I should have stolen you earlier."  


"Go out, make me pictures and get food before you starve."  


***  


Q was becoming worried. The shipment with food and other supplies (whatever were the ones Bond considered needed) were delivered half a day ago and the man himself was still missing. Q tried to steal off one of the satellites to connect to the world's services but he failed as most satellites excited the maximum distance he could reach without amplifiers.  


He paced around the ship, his animals trailing after him, the panther trying to calm him down as much as he could, not really succeeding.  
“He took a better ship, didn't he?" Q asked as the day was coming to an end and he felt like he wanted to cry. “ I don't really blame him, you know. I am rusty and old and I could be faster."  
The panther growled, shook his head and patted his head. You have me, it seemed to day and Q forced himself to smile because all he had left were a series of zeroes and ones which loved him, but he was still selfish and he still felt alone.  


He shut down all the systems. It was of no use to keep the oxygen on the ship, so better put it back into the oxygen tanks. He didn't need it nor did his animals. Q slowly went to the observation deck. He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have let Bond have access to all the systems and databases. Who knows what he had dug up. He also shouldn't have let Bond set the course to this planet, or the system. Of course Bond would go to an inhabited planet in order to run away from a crazy man who was trapped in a junk of metal.  


"I guess, it's time we go to a black hole, don't we Bagherra?" Q scrunched up his face and sighed. "Better start disengaging from the docks..."  


"Q..." Bond it seemed was choking on something when Q let the last cable loose and started slowly manoeuvring the ship out and away from all the shiny ones.  


"Q... Air..." Bond whispered before collapsing and Q thought the speakers picked up some sort of additional sound but he blamed it on crappy sound system. He was at least a hundred years old by now.  


He remembered sucking the oxygen out and flooded the area along with the rest of the ship with the precious air while materialising in front of the collapsed older man.  


"Bond? Bond! James, please..." He didn't want to lose the only person left for him besides the coded animals and suddenly he saw something moving in the jacket Bond had on. He tried to push the jacket back, forgetting for a moment that he wasn't material, and his hand went right through it at the same time a few blood vessels broke around James' eyes, making it look like someone had punched him.  


“Shit, sorry!" He lowered the the oxygen rate and outright dematerialised when something jumped out of the moving jacket. "Bond, if you can hear me, roll away while I take out the- Oh!" He stopped and relaxed when he saw what the creature was, scaring the poor thing when he appeared in front of it.  


It was the type of feline that the people who lived on this planet kept as a pet. It was small now, darling petite thing, fur as black as night, its twin tails lashing out in every direction, bi forked tongue slipping out of its mouth as it hissed at him in fear. Q was busy glaring at the feline who was head butting Bond who was slowly rousing from his bout of unconsciousness.  


"What..." Well it looked like he still was only half awake.  


"Well... It looks like it's just you and me for now." Q glared at the cat and smiled fondly at the cat that tried to brush up on his legs but passed straight through it and meowed confusedly.  


"I am not actually here, you silly little thing," Q said softly, crouching down to look at it. “I suppose that this one smuggled you, didn't he?"  
The cat mewled again and Q decided to take it as an affirmative answer, conjuring a stick with a ribbon on it to tease their new companion, constantly checking on James' vital signs.  
Bond's vitals were getting better and soon the man was regaining his consciousness. The kitten actually situated itself in the crook of the older man's neck and Q wished he could touch both of them.  


But he couldn't. He was doomed to spend forever, or as long as his body (wherever it was) could hold onto being alive. Terians were known to live long lives and Q was sure his time was going to run out soon. He just hoped that it won't happen in Bond's presence. He didn't want to leave the man drifting in a ship with no way out.  


"Oh, a fail-safe route," he whispered, eyes widened. "Yes. that will save you when that happens." he added, pushing his hand through James' head, trying to caress it. He would need the man to wake up and ask him what he wanted his final destination to be - because his body was lost to the world forever and he was going to get bored of being on the run from MI with nothing but a hologram and a pet - and create a program to take him there the second his body ceased to exist.  


"Q..." Bond mumbled and struggled to get up. "What? What's going on?" He opened his eyes and looked at hologram.  


"I thought you left me. And I wouldn't blame you, if you did." Q was looking at the cat that was trying to catch the streaks of light in Q's pixilated body. "I am old, rusty and slow. Besides.... I my body... I cannot find it and it's bound to collapse soon. And I hope you will leave before that or I can make an AI that will move the ship to the safe location. As you are up now I am going to start on this now!" He shimmered and was gone leaving Bond to a mewling annoyed kitten.  


"You and me both," James mumbled, rubbing the cat behind its ears before getting up. "I was late because of the cat," he called out, picking up the cat and holding it to where he thought there was a camera. "You like felines, don't you, Q? So, I picked this little fellow up because he was the last..." He trailed off and looked for the perfect wall for him to bang his head against.  


Q was standing in front of him once more, sad eyes trained on the cat. "You poor dear; I understand why your eyes are this colour now." He tried to pet it but his hand went right through it and he pulled it back as if he had been burned. "James, can you please pet it for me?"  


"What do you mean it's eyes?" Bond lifted the kitten by his scruff to his eye level. "Why is one of his eyes dull grey?"  


"Because it's half blind, Bond." Q's voice sounded from somewhere above them and kitten mewled again.  


Petting the cat and so calming them both Bond went to his own room. "Q? Where are we headed to?" He asked.  


"Wherever you wish to go" came the reply but Q hadn't shown up. "I've decided it will be our last trip together."  


"But why???" James felt like he was being a broken program, asking the same question over and over again.  


But Q remained silent, too stubborn and upset with the way his life had turned out. In hindsight, there was no one to blame but himself. He had been too foolish and too innocent, actually buying the lies they had fed him and then...  


”I said that I would help you find your body and that you are stuck with me until then," James' shouts interrupted his thoughts. “So you can act like a five year old and lock yourself in that little room that I can't get into, but it won't stop me from shouting." The cat mewled loudly, as if offended that it was forgotten - or maybe it was hungry, Q hadn't decided yet. “Q? Q! Q!" James continued to shout and Q opened the coms again.  


“You can't find my body and you will get bored or I will die or this ship will break and MI will capture you." He took a deep breath even though he didn't need it and saw a vein starting to pulsate on James' forehead. “Now, where do you want to go?"  


"To where you body is so I can't smack you upside the head," James deadpanned.

  
"My body is gone forever." Q snapped back.

 

"Now tell me where you want to go or else..."  


"Or else what, Q?!" Bond taunted but the other man remained silent. "Database, show all data gathered on current controller of this ship." He was still petting the cat. It seemed they were having a quarrel with Q.  


"I will...eject you.." Q sighed. The bloody man was so stubborn and if he could, he would have hit his head with his fists to see if it rang hollow. “Fine, stay with me until you get bored or I die. I'll program the ship to drop you at Alec’s last know location."  


"Stubborn pixel," James sing sang. “You are stuck with me and when I find your body, I am going to flick that button nose of yours until it turns red."  


Q remained silent and Bond decided it's time to browse through all the data. He saw Q and some woman in white dress. She was looking at the camera while Q looked at her with fondness in his eyes. 'Probably his wife, I wonder where's his wife now.' Next were papers on how Q or Qui'na'gin was the brightest in the planet. And he struck a deal with MI that he will create weapons for them in return for safety of the planet as humans threatened to start a war and drain their resources if Q won't cooperate.  
And he did. 150 years ago he even integrated his body with the best at the time ship to travel faster. And then MI still betrayed him. Still managed to make all planet vaporise after they drained the resources.  


Q was in tears once again. Whenever a file was accessed on the ship, the information from it was fed into his brain even if he didn't want it. “Why are you hurting me?" He asked before he could stop himself.  


"Q... I am so sorry..." Bond closed it all up. "But Q, why would MI try to kill off your kind? You were smart, most of you even on genius level, why would anyone want to kill off species like yours? You could make such an impact on all peoples?”

 

But Q remained silent. Bond stopped with the reading of the documents even though he read nothing about Q having a spouse besides his family and twin sister, who was probably the one in the picture he saw.  


There was a lurch and the ship was in hyperspace. "Where are we going, Q?"  


"I am going to last known Alec's location to drop you off and then I am... Black hole..." The coms cracked and Q was once again silent.  


"Q, don't you dare!" James shouted, running to his room to grab the covers and then to the main deck, where he tied himself down to the Captain's chair. "I'm going with you, you hear me?"  


The ship was still in hyperspace and Q remained silent, the stubborn fool.  


"You'll kill the animal as well since it just sank its claws in my legs," and the creature might have reached all the way to his bones, James wasn't sure, "and wrapped its tails around me. Are you sure you want to kill us?"  


"Bond, I insist you vacate the premises AND take the cat, when we reach our destination and will leave me alone." Q snapped and was gone again, leaving Bond alone with the cat at the bridge.  


"And I insist you start acting like the genius you're supposed to be and let me help you," James snapped back. “This is the final chance you get to stop this foolishness and build that thing you promised me."  


There was a lurch and ship suddenly stopped. Still in hyperspace and Bond was amazed. As far as he had known nobody managed to do that. And certainly not on 150 years old ship.  


"What thing?" Q sounded uncertain.  


"The one that would let us swim naked in the sun!"  


"Oh... I promised to do that, didn't I?" The ship hummed and James watched amazed as colours of the space around them drained until it gave way to black, the ship now floating a planet that looked just like the type Alec would go for - half frozen and with satellites that advertised all sorts of adventures.  


"Yes, yes you did! I didn't have you pegged down as the type who breaks promises." He grabbed on tightly to the armrests when Q appeared before him, flinching when the cat managed to somehow sink its claws even deeper into his leg. "Also, I need medical attention."  


"Are you hurt? Where?" Q was frowning. "I didn't detect any injuries when you boarded the ship..."  


"Q... Stop worrying... I was exaggerating. The cat has its claws in my tight, I can feel it." Bond smirked.  


The hologram disappeared again.  


"Oh come on, Q. I was merely joking. Q!!!"  


"You always mock me and I don't really like it. So you can bleed to death for all I care." A little panel opened up not too far from where James was, the smell of meat getting the cat's interest and making it detach itself from James' leg.

 

“That food is for the cat, not for you, Bond. I am sure the cat won't think it's poisoned."  


James clicked his tongue. “You can really hold a grudge, I'll give you that." But the other remained silent and even the cat left him for meat.  


'Great, just great, bitched by both I care for...' Bond was surprised by his own thoughts.  
The sound that reminded him of meowing roused him from his thoughts. Taking the cat that was now placated and only trying to gain attention to be petted forced Bond to go to his own quarters and try to make it a bed.  


His quarters were cold, almost frozen and the cat was shivering against him. “ I get it that you want to get rid of me, but do you really want to get your gift sick?" No answer, not that he actually expected one, but the room was slowly starting to get warmer.  


Q was getting more and more annoyed. Bond not only returned, for what he was secretly happy even if it will last for a short time, but he even got another alive thing on the ship. He needed to get rid of both Bond and that. He needs to persuade Bond to take it with him when he is finally decides to leave. 'The faster the better.' Q was still pissed off. 'Before I crumble!'  


And why was the man so stubborn about staying with him? He was over 150 years old! Even if he found his body and he had been made better and ready to be awakened from his coma, he didn't know just how fast his body would age.  


An idea entered his mind, one that was given to him by all the things Alec had told him about James. With little effort, he created new holograms of beautiful women, all copied from the many advertising panels that littered the planet and the satellites around it and send them all to James' room.  


Bond was getting dressed for bed. The cat already was on his pillow without a possibility of ever leaving it no matter how much Bond tried to lure it to the makeshift bed he made for it. He was just exiting the steam shower in his towel when he saw a brunette woman of a hologram sitting on his bed with a skimpy dress.  
"Who in the bloody hell are you?" Bond snapped. "Q, there is a woman in my room!"  


The woman smiled. “I cut off the coms and locked your room, so don't try to call Q or to run away."  


"He'll know something is bad if I rip out a part of the ship," James promised and started to look at the ceiling.  


“Wait, I am here to help you! I am Vesper, the ship's original AI and I know where Q's body is.”  
Bond certainly perked his ears at that. He later will scold himself for being so gullible but now was not the time. Bond was at the hologram's side in seconds, already pulling his suit trousers and turtleneck on. The hologram looked grainy and flickered from time to time.  


"How old is the ship?" He asked.  


She narrowed her eyes at him. "Do you think I am a deceit? Before the pest with chocolate hair was integrated, we were around 170 years old. I am surprised the ship held another 150..."  


"Hey, don't call him a pest. Especially since he managed to hold to bucket of bolts together for so long." He walked to the door and waited for her to open it, the hologram glitch in a few times before she actually got to his side.  


“His help was unwanted," she said shortly and opened the door.  


He opened his mouth to say something, but the hologram signaled him to remain quiet. Little lines of text appeared before her. “He doesn't have to know that I am helping you with this. The life form is unstable and afraid of living."  


James wanted to argue with her over this. He saw how Q enjoyed simple things, how he loved watching Bond eat when they finally got over the issue of poisoning. He was smart and had sharp mind to follow Bond's innuendos and remarks.  


The flickering hologram lead him to escape pods and Bond thought it funny how Q never searched those for his own body. Maybe he was busy trying remain a person in a digital format...  


"His body is in one of the bigger escape pods, I am certain he was too stupid to look for it in one of these. Besides, most of the time he was busy trying to be just your everyday cargo ship..." The woman laughed. "What pathetic alien he is, thinking humans will ever like his kind. Just looking at him makes me sick..."  


This time, she had gone too far. “Q is smart and it is you who are the pathetic. " he stepped closer to the escape pod and the doors opened, the cat bolting in. ”I read what this ship was doing and he helped many. You would have been the cargo ship, not him." He stepped inside and felt along the wall for the pad that would turn on the light, only then dawning on him that what the AI said was very off. “Wait, how can you feel sick? You have no concept of-" The doors slammed behind him and the lights came on, the engines starting to roar.  


"Goddamn ot, Q! Q open these doors," James demanded while hitting the doors with his fists and legs.  


"No, Commander Bond." Q sounded official. "This is the time we part ways."  


"Q..."  


"No, I found Alec's signature on the planet. Or at least it was some time ago. It was fun while it lasted. Thank you for giving me hope even if it was fleeting."  


Bond could hear the locks disengaging and the pod starting to move away from the main ship.  
He tried to get control of the pod, but the basted thing was locked, so James had no choice but to sit there and wait until it reached its preset destination. But the com was working and for as long as he was in the ship's range, he planned on talking with Q.  


"If Alec is here, you know he'll help me get back to you, right? And his fleet is big enough and new enough to outrun you, so we'll have no problem catching you and keeping you in a haul until I find your body. Or even better, have you transferred to a better ship over which you wouldn't really have control, but you'll still be able to walk around."  


"Bond, I will not try to run away. This is the last time I am going to take part in a light travel. To find the closest black hole. I highly doubt any of Alec's fleet will want to head straight into a black hole."  


James snorted, starting to pull apart the control panel. "You do know Alec, right?"  


"I traveled through space enough to know him quite well," Q said after a moment, probably just realizing then his possible mistake. "But the men in his fleet--"  


"Are willing to do anything for him and they are as unbalanced as he is," James interrupted, now digging through the multitude of colourful wires and little chips, trying to find the right one. "And speaking of light travels, how is your ship doing fuel-wise? Because if I calculated right, with all the jumping around you did and that excellent stop in the middle of hyperspace, you should be running low on it."  


"That is none of your concern, Bond. So long, I hope you have a good life..." Q sounded forlorn.  


"Q... Q!!? No!!!!" Bond tried to have the wires connect in order for pod stop moving to the preset destination but to no use. The pod finally disengaged. "Please, Q... Please..."  


"I... Bond it's for the best!" Hologram started flickering and it was clear he is going to be out of range soon for Bond to be able to talk to Q.  


"Q, please," James begged, almost on his knees. “If you are so sure that you'll disappear, why not spend what little you have left with me and OUR kitten? Just you and me and the vast space on one last, huge adventure that is also our first one?"  


"Bo...Can't....alone...please..."  


James growled, hitting the control panel. “Move closer or pull this ship back! You are a genius! You can make something that will allow you to come exploring with me anywhere and everywhere. “  


"Good... Bye..." Were the last words Bond heard Q utter and then there was just static sound.  


"No!!!! God damn it,Q!!!!" Bond bellowed but he could not set the course of the pod back. He was getting closer and closer to the planet while Q was drifting alone in space. He could see the lights in the ship diminishing and then he saw the engines igniting but with a hitch. Bond could see them glitching and he knew Q didn't have long left.  


There were few things in the world that had Alec jump out of the bed. But the alarm from unknown spaceships invading HIS air territory was definitely one of them. Especially if the one on the ship was demanding to talk with the one who had command over that space. “Who the fuck are you and what do you want?"  


"Alec... I need to get back... I need to get back to Q... You must find the closest black hole!" There was some silence and then. "Oh come on fussball, no need to start scratching me!"  


"James? ” Alec asked, a little confused. "What Q? Black hole?"  


"The ship! The AI that's not an AI! Alec, get that ship back NOW and locate the closest black hole!"  


Alec sent an order to his ships that were already out, humming. “Well, closest one is in our home galaxy. But don't worry, the ship Q has is slow compared to mine and we'll get him even if he enters hyperspace."  


James sighed in relief, waiting for the pod to land. “Bloody idiot is trying to kill himself."  


It took Q the last of his reserves to reach the black hole. His engines were glitching. The life support system was starting to fail. He was so glad he got Bond out just in time. There was a black hole nearby and what looked like MI station. He could dock there and rot till he is falling to pieces and will be hauled for salvaging but he could not... He could not do that anymore. Meeting Bond and having him on the ship reminded Q that he was alive once even if it was long time ago. And Bond determined to find his body. He could see the fire in the man's eyes.

 

No, black hole was the only option he had left. Maneuvering the ship with falling engines was difficult but Q managed. He managed to do so many things others thought impossible. He was slowing heading there. Sitting on the observation deck along with Bagheera was painful but he was not one to fear his death. He even welcomed it.  


'Unknown ship, please identify yourself or we will open fire!" Q refused to open the coms. He was either going to get sucked in by the black hole or destroyed by the MI ship. Either way he was going to finally be able to rest.  


“You know, Bagheera?" The animal turned to look at him, flicking his tail. “ I think I will upload you and everyone else in an MI computer. Maybe even have enough time to open a door or two to burst out and scare them a little "  


"This is your last warning. Identify yourself or suffer the consequences. “  


"Goodbye, Bagheera!" Q passed his hand through the feline. "It's time! I am lowering my shields." Once he did that he could reach the MI ship and transfer the animals. Seeing his closest companions disappear one by one made Q clench his eyes shut when the panther wanted to jump back to him.  


"What is this?" He shut back the shields and the coms again. Instead of an array of weapons being fired at him, he was trapped in a tracking beam and it was too late for him to start his ship again and push himself into the black hole.  
"What's happening?" He turned on the coms, fuming that his plan was apparently being ruined. "Who are you and what are you doing?"  


"Q, I really wish we could have met again under different circumstances," Alec's voice boomed over the coms and Bagheera started to roar and bounce around the ship, clearly happy.  


"Alec, please-"  


"No," Alec interrupted him. "I am not going to listen to you and you are going to sit in my ship until your brain starts working properly again."  


"You know I can not transfer myself anywhere." Q whispered sadly. "Bagherra and other we're fine because they are purely digital. I on the other hand..." He couldn't finish it. What a joke was his life. Being alive but never leaving the ship.  


"Q..."  


"Alec, if you could just give me a push, I would be forever grateful. My engines aren't working anymore and..."  


"Q... You are being stupid..."  


"I am being stupid?" Q roared. He had to change tactics. "How old do you think this ship is? How old do you think I am?"  


"Right now? Five and throwing a fit," Alec said easily, Q's ship finally being docked on locked inside his. "I really think you could build the things James told me about, if you just give me a try."  


"It's not the same," Q roared, on his knees, angry beyond all reason for not even being able to hit his fists against the ground. "And I am close to two hundred,"  


His ship's doors were forced open and James and Alec walked in, James hovering above him, his hands going through him twice before the man gave up on trying to pat him or rub his back or whatever he was trying to do.  


Alec continued to be the calm one. "You don't look a day over twenty."  


"I..." Q disappeared then altogether.  


"Now look what you've done with all the teasing." Bond chided. "Could you drag us back to a safe distance?" He asked easily.  


"Us? Bond, I hope you know you are human?"

Alec patted him on the back.  


Bond just glared at him and Alec raised his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine... While we are dragging you back from the hole it will be good to fix you two as well as it looks like you are falling to pieces!" His laugh rang in the corridors while Bond remained on the observation deck with Bagheera prancing around annoyed. When she passed right through him he snapped.  


"I know, I know. I am angry at him too!"  


He checked to see if Alec was off Q - eye twitching when he pictured the literal meaning of that - before he drifted down to the little room he came to think of as belonging to Q. "I told you that you were overreacting." Silence, not that he expected anything else.  


He leaned against the door and wrapped his arms around his legs. "You yourself were not falling apart and I honestly think your body is in excellent condition. I mean if there's a floating head in a jar that's been around for longer than anyone could remember and a human woman who's only a strip of skin stretched on a rack, why couldn't your body be in perfect condition?"  


And after a long conversation with Alec, he was sure that MI had done everything in their power to keep him alive. Q was more than a genius and he was their asset, that being the reason why they hadn't equipped him on an actual battleship.  


“You just had a shock, something you probably hadn't have in a long time and you latched on to your first thought: erasing yourself. But Q, you have to understand that no matter how scared you are, doing that is never the answer. Ask for help and it will be given to you."  


"James..." Came the exasperated sigh.

 

"Please..."  


"I will find your body, Q! I gave you a promise and I will keep it. We will find your body, as long as it takes..." Bond smiled sadly at disheveled and sad looking Q, who sat next to him on the sofa.  


"I am so scared, James..." Q whispered. "So scared of feeling again..."  


"You called me James," was what the man focused on, smiling. “ And it is okay. We will feel together. “  


The door suddenly opened and James poured in, starting up at a possibility red Q.  


"I... I am sorry... For causing you trouble." Q was flustered. "I will stay with you for however long you will have me..." He bowed his head.  


"Q... It will be forever..."  


Q smiled, actually smiled. “I'll hold you to it."  


"I was not the one who was trying to jump in a black hole." He pulled himself up and dusted off his pants. “Now, how about we work in that pretty device for me swimming with you in space while Alec fixes your ship?"  


"Oh yes... I already have some ideas in mind." Q looked fondly at Bond.  


"I will get our cat back in the ship as well." Bond went out of the room leaving Q alone again.  


***  


"Come on you stupid cat, you should stop trying to kill me!" Bond was trying to stop the two tailed cat from scratching his eyes out.  


"Bond, what in the name of God are you doing?"  


"Apparently losing my eyes," James growled. “Can you can this demon off? It might listen to you because he sure as hell doesn't want to listen to me."  


"I don't even know his name."  


"Satan will suit his just fine, trust me."  


"I think Percy will be just fine, short for persistent because that's what you and he are." A stream of reflecting lights flashed in the corner and the cat was out of Bond's face in the matter of seconds, busily trying to catch those.  


"Oh thank god!" Bond exhaled and plopped down on the armchair.  


"Do you require medical assistance? " Q asked in an obvious mocking voice.  


“No for the cat but for that annoying AI, yes."  


"I see your good humour is still there. I am leaving now. Need to think about the gadgets. And you should look after Alec in case he decides to remove my engines altogether." Q said with amusement and no real scare.  


"Don't worry; only I am allowed to touch your engines."  


Q's reply came in the form of a laser light pointed at his crotch, the cat letting out a horrifying screech before lunging at him.  
"Come on, Q!" Bond whined while trying to shoo the cat away.  


And Alec, the sleazy bastard, chose the exact moment to come into the observation deck.  
"Whoa whoa... I don't care what floats your boat but a cat? James, come on!"  


"Alec..." Q materialized in front of the taller blonde.  


"Q, darling..." Alec's hand passed through Q's face in a gesture similar to cupping one's cheek.  


"Hey..." The exhale Q uttered was intimate.  


"Hello yourself, precious Q!" Alec smiled.  
James tried to hold back from feeling jealous when he saw how they interacted, but he still failed to notice how the cat had clamped down on his leg, too busy trying to will Alec away from Q.  


”I am sorry we met again under these circumstances, " Q was saying as his own hand passed through Alec’s face, as if he was caressing. “ I do have to congratulate you on your new ships."  


Alec chuckled, holding his head up higher. “Well, it was all because of that little code you provided me with the last time we saw each other. "  


Bond fled the deck, leaving Alec with Q alone.  


"James..." Q whispered when Bond was out of the room. Passing straight through Alec.  


"Don't worry, he will be back... Probably gonna sulk some and then return all gloomy saying he doesn't feel anything..." Alec smiled sheepishly.

"You are serious about him, aren't you, Q?"  


Q smiled a little without realising it. ”I.. He's a nuisance. He stole me, refused to leave, thought I was poisoning him!"  


Alec laughed. "You didn't tell him about the cats, did you?"  


Q pouted. “ I wasn't planning on keeping on for so long, nor did I think my own programs would turn against me."  


"He is just something... Might take a long while for you to break past his defenses and bravado of dark humor and snark, but once you do... He will do anything for you." Alec said. "You should better start working on whatever gadget you promised him before Bond starts thinking there is something between us."  


Q looked confusedly at him. "Why would he..." He trailed off and looked at the door, frowning. "Is that why he left?" He huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest as various parts started to float around him, turning red a few times as they touched each other until they shone green and disappeared. "Really now, you didn't accuse me of trying to poison you."  


"Ah, but you see, my upper case Q, that is because I knew about your various hologram companions."  


"Oh gods, he is such an idiot. I've just thought of the gadget, I just need hands to help me put it up. Alec, will you..."  


"Whatever you want, Q!" Alec said just as Bond entered the deck, clearly having forgotten something.  


"I will leave you both to it... I just need to take this," he hastily grabbed his jacket and exited.  


"See, that's what I've been talking about..." Alec watched the doors slide back in place. "You have to take action soon..."  


Q passed his hand through Alec. "I think you might be missing one very important detail, Alec and-"  


"You are as much as an idiot as he is," Alec chimed in, grinning at Q. "Touch him with your feelings, not your actual body. And please come clean tonight as I really do not want to end up eating the ground because he thinks we have something more than friendship and brotherhood-ness between us."  


Q scrunched up his nose. "Is that last word even real?"  


"What? Us? Yes, yes it is."  


***  


James was walking up and down the walls - literally, as he was in the anti-gravity chamber. He couldn't help but feel jealous towards Alec, even though Q had known him for a longer period of time and way before him. "But I got him a cat," James hissed and the cat in question lazily opened one eye to look at him for a second before stretching and going back to his nap. "Work with me, will you?" Cat continued to ignore him and nap on his jacket.  


"Bond, Bond where are you?" Q raised his head up even if he didn't need to. "Oh here you are! I constructed a thing. If you still would like to go sun swimming with me?" Q looked hopeful. "I mean as soon as Alec fixes the ships. Or... Or we could go in town, the one Alec is staying in..."  


James blinked and checked the date and the hour, just to be sure. "You're incredibly fast, my little genius," he whispered, eyes wide."  


Q's hologram changed colours again, this time going through green and blue after the initial red, making it seem like a glitch had occurred within his display - but James liked to think that he had made him blush. "The device I made to allow you to swim was quite easy, to be honest. Just a little modification in the hologram system which I then connected to the a VR visor Alec had for use of training in space combat for his men."  


The two devices were floating before James, breaking into little pieces before reassembling, a lot of technical babble and math appearing around them as that happened.  


"Since I wanted to allow you to feel a bit of the warmness or the coldness of the star, I also modified another machine used in Alec's medical bay to slightly increase or decrease the temperature of your skin." He pointed at his hand. "It goes on your pointer."  


James drew closer to Q and tried to cup his face, feeling like he needed to go gloat to Alec when Q closed his eyes and tilted his head as if he was trying to rub against his palm. "I feel like I am insulting you when I am calling you a genius."  


Q moved to rest his hand on top of James, flickering away and reappearing in the opposite side of the room when his hand went right through James'. "The other device took me a bit longer to make and for it to work on the other planets, we will either have to circle it a few times until I sync up to all of their visual systems, but Alec provided me with what I needed for his planet. All you have to do is carry something that looks like a watch and I will be able to manifest up to 6 feet around you."  


"So which one do you want to do first, swim in a sun or have a stroll in a planet." Q looked out of the window. "I bet it's the planet. I am sure you missed the company of other live people. I will make arrangements..."  


"Q wait... Wait..." Bond came to stand next to Q. "As Alec finished with the repairs, I am sure a dip in the sun will be more to my liking. I recently have been having colds..."  


"James...."  


"I am sure Alec won't mind looking after us while we are up in space..."  


***  


"This was always the most disturbing thing about Q. Him just randomly going into a star to recharge his engines. Are you ready, James?"  


"As I could ever be..." The other man was sitting on a table in what looked like a medical bay. "Turn it on, Q..."  


"Yes, yes... I just... I am sorry if it..." There was a silent buzz and Bond suddenly went lax on the table.  


"I hope you haven't killed him..."  


"I am fine, Alec. It just feels weird." James' voice suddenly came from his right. "So weird to see myself lying on that table."  


This time when Q placed his hands on him, they didn't go through, but James sadly didn't feel anything. "Checking to see if the hologram is solid enough, so I made it use the same light waves as mine," Q explained without being prompted and the second he stepped away from James, the man moved to ruffle his hair.  


"I've been wanting to do that since the first time I saw you," James murmured, hand sticking out of his mouth as he tried to get the hair to move, Q sighing before it actually started to do so.  
"I'll try to do a sync of our holograms later, James." He turned to look at Alec, eye twitching when he realized that the man had one hand going through his head and the other one held a marker with which he drew on James' face.

 

"Really, Alec?"  


"Paying him back for our teenage years and jealous that I can't play with your hair."  


"Well... Maybe you will..." He grabbed James' hand and they were out from the ship before James actually managed to snap back at Alec. He felt tingling on his right hand by which Q was dragging him.  


"Q... Q... Please slow down... I am not used.... Whoaaaaa...." James looked down and saw empty space below his feet. "Q!!!!!"  


"Shit shit shit!!!" Q was at his side, gripping his hand tightly.  


"Don't drop me, don't DROP ME," James continued to panic, wrapping his legs and arms around Q, holding on as tightly to him as he could.  


Q just slowly rubbed James' back, sighing. "Maybe this was a bad idea, but please give it a try? You are not actually here. Neither of are, me more so than you."  


"Just don't let me go..." James sounded much too scared to admit with words but more so with actions, he was clinging to Q like his life depended on it.  


"Here, take my hand, or sit on my back, let's have a piggy ride, yeah?!" Q was rambling on and on and on and slowly lowered Bond on his own feet when he felt the other man relaxing. "Let's have a look on the ship..." Q slowly dragged Bond at the back of the ship where they could see Alec's ships retreating back to safe distance while the ship itself was slowly starting to turn and head towards the sun. "This is the time most people freak out. Nobody would associate solar energy with literal sinking into a sun but..."

 

Q was suddenly silent when Bond's face appeared in his personal space. Cupping Q's face, James seemed more relaxed now and Q couldn't help but wonder if everything had been nothing more than an act. "I don't know how you do it, but the light is dancing off of you and your hair and it's making you look even more God-like."  


"I just use the particles that exist in space to bounce the holographic image off of," Q explained automatically, although in a soft voice. "Those particles, in turn, roped in a mockery of a physical object gain the ability to reflect the light emitted from a different source."  


"Do you mean to say that you are basically glittering?" Bond asked amazed.

 

"Well, to put it crudely, yes!" Q laughed. "Come on now, let's swim..." Q floated away. "Catch me if you can!" He laughed while Bond lunged at him, temporary forgetting his fear once he had his eyes set on Q only.  


Alec watched them from the safety of his ship, squeezing one of his men really close to his body in joy. "Just look at those two fools." He turned to slap James' slumbering body, grinning like a maniac. "If you only knew how many had fallen for him and tried to get him to look at them the way he does at you, you old, lucky dog."  


In space, James stopped only an inch away from grabby Q's bare ankle, flinching. Q picked up on that instantly, having the advantage of having actual eyes in the back of his head due to the outside cameras his ship had. "James, what happened? Are you alright?" He floated closer to him, looking like he was gently cupping his face. "Is it too hot? Too cold? Are you being electrocuted?"  


Before he could lose himself to complete panic, James pulled him close, grinning against his lips. "Caught you." He planned on trying to see if he could feel Q's lips or the idea of them, when something stung his face harder than before. "What the bloody hell is going on?"  


Q disappeared from his arms instantly and he was left staring at the empty space again, filling the program to end when he felt his heart being engulfed by fear. "James... I am here... I am here." The man was cuddling him. They were floating in the sun, ship a few kilometres away. "It was just Alec. Being his idiot self,  pinching your cheeks. I even had to lock him out of the medical." Q frowned.  


"But now as I got you, what should I do with you?" Bond whispered to Q. His lips next to Q's ear.  


"Float around? Swim? Enjoy space?" Kiss me, Q wanted to day, hating the nothingness he felt. He wondered how warm James was and how soft or rough his skin was.  


"And if I want to do something else?"  


Q pulled back a little to look at him. “Like what?"  
Bond was suddenly in his space again leaning up to kiss him.  


"Bond, what are you doing? You know I can not..." Lips suddenly were on his hologram ones and he felt a slight tingle.  


"When we finally find your body, I am going to kiss your body all over so you are dizzy drunk from them and will beg me to stop." Bond was whispering.  


"James..."  


"And once you and your body is all roused up and feeling all the sensations I am going to make love to you till you start begging me to stop." Q gasped, making the same sound when they used to enter hyperspace. "And then," Bond continued. "I am going to fuck you till you scream yourself hoarse."  


"What are you doing to me?" Q asked, feeling a strange buzz in his mind. “Do it again, please," he breathed out and James chuckled.  


“ I already have you pleading, Hm? " He kissed Q again and he was suddenly back in the ship, kissing air and hugging himself. “Q?" Panic took over pleasure and Q appeared next to him, looking dazed.  


“We moved out of range by accident." He glanced down and turned red. “I think our anatomy is similar. That or you have a parasite attached to your body that grew and that I didn't detect."  


"That is definitely not a parasite." Bond grinned lewdly. "Shall we continue?"  


"Oh yes, we will..." Q grinned back and Bond found himself floating in the air again with Q just a few meters away from him. "Well..." He spread his arms wide and did a spin.  


"You sneaky bastard, I am gonna devour you whole!" Bond lunged forward but instead of catching Q all he heard was his laugh, the man was a few paces away grinning and having a good time.  


***  


"Captain Alec, are you sure that scrap of metal is going to hold in the sun?" One of the men the bulky man was with on the observation desk asked.  


He had a hand closing onto his throat in seconds. "If you ever call Q that, I will throw you into the space, without a suit..." The man hissed.  


"The ship... I meant the ship," the man wheezed out, tapping Alec’s hand to try to get him to let him go.  


“Until further notice, Q IS the ship," Alec continued to hiss, throwing the man into a wall. "Plus, we're going to upgrade it and fix it. Change his engines, install a new heat shield and better shields and add a few weapons just to be sure."  


"But sir, that will cost..."  


"Do you think any of you would be alive if not that..." Alec gestured towards Q and the ship which was slowly sinking more deeply into the sun. "As you put scrap of metal..." He wanted to add something more but Q chose the exact moment to materialize in front of the blonde, James hot on his heels.  


"Alec..."  


"Q..."  


"Now look what you've done Trevelyan!" Bond went straight through the wall back into the space after the brilliant man.  


"I want to be alone right now, James." Q said softly, moving to the other side of the ship.  


“You heard it completely wrong, Q." He moved after him and clung to him, nuzzling his ear. "Alec would never call you that."  


"But I --"  


" You are not, Q. The ship you're on is a bucket of bolts, but not you."  


Q stopped suddenly. "Do you really think that? That I am worth saving?" There was that wrinkle in the middle of Q's forehead again indicating that he was thinking. "Even if my body is old and going to collapse as soon as you pull it out of the tank?"  


"Don't be silly, Q. If I..." Bond stopped talking for a moment. "If I fell in love with hologram, I am sure an old man will do as well..."  


Q looked confused for a moment. "What is falling in love? There is no translation for live in my language. Is it what follows after a show of feelings and a determination that the two are compatible?"  


"Oh Q..." Bond exhaled and hugged him close. "I will explain it all..." He kissed his ear. "Falling in love is when you think you want to spend the rest of your life with them and when being in their mere presence gives you joy and satisfaction."  


"Well... In that case..." Q turned round in Bond's embrace. "I fell in love with you too..."  


James smiled, cupping his face. “I don't think I have ever been happier to hear anything in my life." They touched their lips again and Q let out that little moan, holding on tighter to James.  


“Please find my body..."  


"I will, Q. I will."  


They were floating together in space, basking in the warmth of the star and sometime later in life Bond will think how that was possible to feel heat and cold when being only pixels, but now was not the time. The first thing he saw when the headset was pulled off was Alec’s grinning face. “Go apologise to Q before I end you."  


"What? What... What did I do?" Alec was helping Bond to sit up. "What is wrong with your arm?" He poked Bond's left hand and the other blonde looked curiously at it, feeling nothing.  


"Just apologize to Q, while I solve this..." The man muttered.  


"Fine..." Alec muttered and left the room and Bond in it, trying to raise his arm with his left one and frowning.  


Alec found Q in his 'room', catching going over the footage with James and himself, smiling as he touched the other man's face.  


“Q." The second he opened his mouth, the program was stopped and they were in a park, Q pretending to touch a plant. “About earlier... It came out wrong. I didn't call you-"  


"James explained."  


"Still, I am sorry. I would never-"  


Q turned around and covered his mouth, Alec stopping just because it was clear that was wanted. “He said he loved me."  


"Oh Q..."  


"Even after I've told him that I'm old and my body is on the verge of collapsing all he said that he would be glad to spend them even with an old man. I've been thinking... I don't understand what love it, but I am fond of Bond... Alec, what is it that you call love?"  


"What way?" Q had his head bent at a side.

  
"Oh Q... You've spent such a long time alone..."  


"Not alone, Alec, different species, remember."  


"I am sorry for that as well, Q! We will find your body, don't worry and then you and Bond will fuck like rabbits..."  


Q frowned. “I will have to do more research into Earth kind animals," Q muttered, frowning. “But is it a metaphor for copulating a lot?"  


Alec's laugh sounded in the empty corridors. "Yes, yes that is exactly what it is!"  


***  


Bond was still fighting with returning the feeling to his hand. He guessed it was because of the impulses Q sent to his brain and with him grasping Q's hand or was it Q grabbing his pixilated (mind you) hand that ended up with blonde having ants crawling up his arm. But it was becoming better. He won't need Alec to stab it with a fork to have the feeling returned to him.  


"There, made up with our Q," Alec announced as he entered the room, slapping James' back. “I also told him that you're going to fuck a lot, but something tells me he doesn't know our dicks expire after a while, so make sure to find his body before you get to explain that to him and you insult him by your soldier not saluting at the right touches."  


James' eye twitched. “An unpleasant pain in the ass as usual, Alec."  


"I am certain in the literal way, Bond." Alec managed to reply before Q materialised in the room.  


"Agh... Here you are... James, what is wrong with your arm?" Q was at his side at once, data lines running next to him. "Oh... Oh..." He suddenly sat next to Bond. "I am sorry. I failed once again. It's just that humankind is different from us. You are so weak and yet so different. The few that I've met so differ in everything." He got a thoughtful look look on his face.  


"You didn't fail, Q, stop saying that." By recently acquired habit, he went to ruffle Q's hair, hand going right through him. “It doesn’t really bother me."  


"But you can not feel your hand. And that's because you touched me. It is always my fault." Q hunched himself over. "I need to calibrate the device..." He was gone leaving Alec gaping like a fish and James pinching the nose of his bridge.  


"He wasn't like that when we've met." Alec whispered.  


"That's what I've been trying to tell you all the time. He wants to kill himself half time and other half he blames himself for causing me harm even when I tell he didn't."  


Alec hummed. “Did you, by any chance, accessed what happened to his home planet and home race from his ship?"  


James nodded, feeling cold. “ I thought he was a rogue AI-"  


"I would punch you if I knew I could get it passed Q."  


"I apologized profusely. More than once. I should have realized he is no AI but I kept seeing his animals and I thought he poisoned my food when he said he never detected other life forms but me and kept seeing feline animals all around."  


"He has a weakness for those." Alec smiled. "Is that why you got a real cat roaming around the ship?"  


"Yes, is it that obvious?"  


Alec chuckled. “Well, back to my depressed friend and your depressed lover, when we were on his ship, we weren't allowed to discuss his home planet. We knew, but he didn't and... I understand why. I will install a kill switch for his engines on my part, just in case he decided he's waiting for too long and wants to visit the inside of a black hole."  


"No, Alec... I couldn't do it to him. If he'd ever... I would let him chose..."  


"Even if you know he is wrong?"  


"Yes..." Bond had this sad look on his face.  


"Oh boy you are in it deep, aren't you?"  


"Alec... Don't tell him but I would be there with him if he decided to head into black hole."  


Alex whistled loudly. "Oh god, Bond!"  


James rubbed his face, practically scratching at it. “This is what live does of a man. I feel connected to him and my life is his life until the end of time. I can't wait to hold him in my arms even of it will be just for..." He trailed off and shrugged. “I need your help with his."  


"Ask and you shall receive, my love struck friend. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you two. Oh and..." He punched James, hard. “For having dark thoughts."  


"Well, if we are on this subject..." James punched him a few times. "For fucking around with my body while I was in space with Q,"  


"It was too hard to resist!" Alec smiled good naturedly. "I am sure some walking in the streets of Nairin would do you some good." Alec slapped him in his shoulder good naturedly.  


"Yes... But..."  


"You want to take Q with you don't you now?"

  
"But of course. He was alone for so long." James looked determined. "I am going to talk to him and ask what he thinks." He jumped off the medical table and wobbled a bit.  


Alec helped steady him. “I don't think Q will be the old guy in this relationship."  


James glared, but let it slide. “Have you seen that beast I brought with me anywhere around? I am sure it wouldn't let this perfect moment to attack me slide."  


"Not really, but he can't be too far from your leg." And it only took a moment or two to pass and the two tailed fork tongued cat was weaving its body between James' legs almost tripping the man.  


"You are certainly going to be the old man in the relationship."  


"Shut up, Alec or I'll let Q throw you into space without a suit!" Bond limped down the corridor with cat hot on his heels.  


Alec checked the communication device. "Are you done fixing the engines? Why is it taking so long?"  


"The engines installed on this ship are ancient." Came the cracking reply. "I've never seen so much titanium in one place. We can not even scan the whole area to see how to remove them. Captain Trevelyan,  are you sure you don't want to just pull this ship for melting?"  


"Stop asking silly questions!" Alec hissed. "And get back to work now!!!"  


"Sir, it's going to be really expensive. No buying that casino this month," one of the technicians pointed out, but Alec didn't care.  


“Two months and it will be ours. Now..." He threw his arm around the man's throat. “Start working."  


***  


"Q, can I come in?" James asked, knocking on the door. "I want to talk with you about something."  


"Yes, yes, of course." Q turned around. He still had data running in lines and two gadgets crashing together and then coming to pieces. He waved the holograms away. "What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?"  


"I wanted to go on the planet."  


"Ah." Q's face looked sad for a moment. "I'll be here," he said, waving his arms around.  


James chuckled. "Do you want to come with me? If you are still working on the device, I can wait right here until you are done."  


Nebulas faded compared to how Q's eyes looked in that moment and James lost himself in them instantly. "Was fiddling with the space one and almost done with the other, but James, are you sure? I will still be see-through and the inhabitants--"  


"Can kiss my ass." He moved to cup Q's chin, running his hand down his face, tips of fingers going through the hologram. "And, before we go to sleep, let's go into space so I can kiss you goodnight."  


"James...." Q emitted that sound which Bond only heard twice when they were jumping into the light speed and hyperspace.  


"Well... Turn it on!" James joked.  


"You are turning me on!" Q whispered into his ear once Bond's hologram materialized next to the fluffy haired man. "Is it the right thing to say?" Q suddenly looked unsure of himself. "I checked the slang of earth... Let me know..."  


"It's perfect." Bond kissed him in the lips. "You are perfect. I will wait for you to finish the device so we can go and have a stroll in the planet Alec is residing in." Bond hugged the young man and they remained afloat for a while.  


Q's eyes changed colour and James knew that he had lost his attention in favour of something that was going on on the ship. He tried to reign in his jealousy on the ship - he was aware of how ridiculous that was, but he couldn't help himself - and trailed little kisses on Q's cheek, nibbling on his ear, and drumming his fingers down Q's chest.  


With a loud moan that he was sure affected his actual body, he had Q back with him. "I wish I could make you feel what I do, James."  


"Oh, darling, your moan does so much to me on top of simply seeing you."  


The lights all over Q's hologram have changed for a second or two and James raised his eyebrow. "Nothing, it's nothing. I think Alec is trying to access my engines... And part of me is trying to create a gadget so we can touch while you are on the planet and you are here with me. I think..." James gently caressed his cheek. "I think I am having sensory overload."  


"You're not going to leave my bed for months, my darling," James promised. "You're going to squirm, moan, whimper, and beg under me and you'll see stars for a whole other reason than that we are in space."  


Q was biting his lower lip and James moved to bite it for him, drawing little whimpers from him. "James...I feel...Oh..." He rubbed against him, shivering. "This is the first time in forever that I feel like this. Not even when I jump in hyperspace..." James buckled against him. "I'm having what you people call a 'wet dream'."  


Bond just chuckled and continued to hump him. It was a first time he was having frottage being performed in space while his partner was not exactly solid. And no, he didn't want to speak about that night with a Cerintian.  


"I am willing to give you more wet dreams before I get to hold you in my arms... You are so marvellous, so wonderful and so so mine..." He growled the last word in Q's ear. And again he was in the medical bay but this time the ship was dark. "Q? Q! Qui'na'gin?!?" He tried to stand on his feet even with a raging hard on but he all but collapsed on the floor.  


"James..." Q flickered into being again "James..." He was kneeling in front of him, trying to caress his cheek and Bond was glad he was not the only one forgetting that one of them had physical body and the other was a hologram.  


"What is going on? Why is it dark?"  


"Alec shut the main energy collector off, and it's been awhile since the backup one was on. It took it longer to kick in and start working."  


"I'll crush his balls," James growled out, trying to curl up.  


"No, no, don't do that...l-lowe? Is that how you say it? Lowe?Loweh?" Q was munching on his finger now, a little file appearing behind him. "lo-"  


"Love. Just like the feeling, L, o, v, e." James rested his chin in the palm of his hand, managing to roll on his stomach and ignore the pain he was feeling from his groin. "Call me that again."  


"James...Love...." Q tried to cup his chin and leaned closer, trying to kiss him.  


"Well I'll be damned if I wouldn't find the infamous Casanova James Bond having a go with a hologram." Alec was holding onto the wall cackling.  


"Alec!" Q was in front of him in seconds. "Help him, he is in pain! Please, help him. I'll do... I'll do anything..."  


"Now now my old friend, Q! There is no need for that. This old fella James is fine, just a bit horny now..."  


"I assure you, Alec, humans don't have horns!" Q crossed his arms on his chest.  


"Oh you are a darling." Alec laughed again while trying to pull the other blonde back on the makeshift bed. "How do you get so lucky, you dog?" Alec laughed and was tempted to flip James over to show Q where the problem lied, but was smart enough to stay on his side of the room. "No, when you say that someone is horny, you're saying that he is feeling or arousing sexual excitement."  


"Oh...Oh..." Q turned red. "You mean that he is in pain because he is ready to copulate?"  


Alec nodded. "Well, we don't do that just when we want to have kids. Wait, can the male in your species-"  


Q shook his head. "It would make things so much easier if we could, but we could not. But when we are aroused by another male, we...And then the woman....Because...." Q flickered out, obviously too embarrassed to explain this.  


"Alec, could you please, please, please stop embarrassing him every time it's all 3 of us." James chided him. "It's becoming unnerving. Do you know how long it will take me to talk him out of his room?"  


Alec just shrugged and remained silent.  


***  


Q in the mean while was searching through the data of human copulation. It seemed they had no problems with multiplying. Their species was one of the few that was in literally every corner of the universe. Sometimes having as many as 4 kids at once or more. There were gay people, who liked the company of their own sex, some enjoyed both and some only the opposite gender. It was so confusing that Q was feeling overload of data.  


'Humans multiplied like rabbits.' He read. That's why Alec said that. Did that mean James could have kids? There was no data about men bearing offspring so he was clearly missing some important fact.  


He dug some more and found some video archives - did humans really need so many instructional videos? - and played a few of them, confused even more. Did the females of James' kind not have funds? Was that why they copulate with everything from data delivering people to some form of ancient engineers?  


No, he needed James to explain. “James, can you please come over?" He asked over the coms, loading another movie. He was sitting on his couch, frowning at the moaning and so confused that there mostly were only two people mating, in same sex rituals that is. It was so weird. And did humans really had only one organ? How are there so many of them when it was only one....  


"Q, what was it..." James stopped mid sentence gaping like a fish at a huge holoscreen Q had on one wall. "Q? What is it that you are watching?" There was moaning from the moment at exactly that moment and James frowned. "Could you please turn that off or at least pause it ?"  


Q nodded, pausing it in the most unfortunate moment as far as James was concerned. "I was looking through your kind's instructional videos to understand how your kind works and is hitting the partner with--"  


"Recreational!" James interrupted Q, eyes wide. "Not instructional and not recreational in the way you are thinking but in the "I am alone and horny, I need a good wank' or 'honey, let's spice up our relationship' kind of way."  


Q nodded and James though he saw something that looked like he was writing all of this down in a document. "So you don't actually need to hit the mounted with your organ?"  


How was Q almost 200? And why was this so hard to explain? And not hard in the fun way? "No, we do not need to do that." The image behind him was making him cringe and if Q was added to the mix, horny again. "Can you please turn it off?"  


"Oh, of course." Q moved his hand and the video disappeared, a progress bar showing that everything was being deleted. "Your reproductive organ... Is it just that one, or do you have more?"  


James arched his eyebrow. "Just one, normally. In some cases, when a mutation occurs within the woman's womb, the male might have two, but it is not normal. Or the individual is born with both organs."  


"Oh..." Q was silent for a moment. But then he smiled and added. "I might have finished the gadget for us to go down to the planet."  


"Q, about the mating thing..." James never felt the subject changed s abruptly as then.  


"It doesn't matter. I got all the data I needed."  
"Q..."  


"I... We..." Q mumbled something under his breath.  


"What was it, Q?" James came closer to the hologram.  


"I said I would mate with a woman for you." He clenched his eyes tightly.  


"Q... What are you on about?"  


"Doesn't matter, Bond. The subject is closed..." Q disappeared from his own room but one of his feline creations was glaring at him.  


"What? I didn't even do anything!" Bond glared back. Clearly he had because Q refused to manifest in front of him until the gadget was fully done and even when they were walking side by side around the docking area for Q to check all the connections, he was sitting as far away from James as possible and refusing to look him in the eyes.  


“This is what happens when you miss alien sex-ed class," Alec teased James, walking with a skip in his step. "And no, I will not fill you in on anything other than that what he said is as good as a marriage proposal for his kind when it comes to two males."  


James choked on air. “Wait, does he HAVE to bring a woman into this? Because I am not sure I can handle seeing him getting pleased by anyone other than me. Or it would die the second my eyes landed on her."  


Alec patted his back. “Our species are similar and very different. Just watch how you word certain things until you find out how sex between them works."  


"Why do you know so much about him?" James grabbed Alec shirt and brought him close, growling.  


“Not for the reason you think, I promise. Remember that foxy red haired from Main medical? The one with the tail and extra long tongue? Well, her major was in Q's spices and she had me read her paper while we were... you know."  


Bond was becoming more and more frustrated. Alec said nothing about Q's species. He surely had more knowledge but he was withholding it, the bastard. And Q. Well Q was distancing himself, not in the literal sense. He was next to him, they were slowly strolling down the streets of Nairin. Q was so excited he totally forgot he was angry with Bond would somehow manage to touch the blonde's arm via hologram, James would get unpleasant tingling but he refused to tell that to Q, seeing as excited as he was of being outside of the ship and among many people.

 

They were turning a corner when Q noticed a cluster of women looking curiously at them. He tried to ignore them, know he certainly was not what attracted their attention so it must be James and his good looks. One of them actually was brave enough to come closer and strike a conversation with Bond.  


Q was pretending to look at the various spices that were on display in one of the shop windows when he heard the woman talking. "I am sure such a fine specimen would like to spend some time in a company of a woman or women and not with showing around things for someone who is even scared of showing himself on the planet, and managing only a meager hologram."  


Stupid, he was so so stupid. How could he ever think James found him attractive enough to even look at him. He was probably bored on the ship and bisexual so he played a bit with love stuck Q. Showing him bits and pieces of affection. And now in the presence of real women he forgot all about Q and was already smirking at one of them who have surrounded him, pushing Q out of the range and back on the ship.  


"Back so soon?" Alec asked, stretching. "I thought it was going to be days before you and James would return, so your ship is currently without heat shields." Q remained silent, staring into nothingness and Alec was starting to panic. "Everything okay, Q? Where's James?"  


"Out." Q said shortly. "I'll be in my ship." And he flickered away, taking all the holographic animals with him.  


Alec sighed, turning on the coms to talk with James. "What the bloody hell did you do this time, you twat?"  


"What is going on?" James sounded frustrated. "He was there one moment and then just gone..."  


"What did you do?" Alec hissed. "What in the bloody hell did you do?"  


"Well there was a woman and she... And Q was looking at..." A sudden exhale made Alec realize the same thing that James came to realization with.  


"Get your ass back here as soon as possible!"

 

There was a sudden lurch. "What in the name of gods is going on here?" He howled at a man who was scrambling to get some data regarding the vibrations all over the main ship.  


"Alec? Alec what is going on?" James was panting and the younger of the two knew he was sprinting back to the travel pod. "Alec!!!"  


"Fuck fuck fuck! Bloody stupid the two of you!!!" Alec was spluttering and holding hard onto the captain's chair when the ship lurched forward again. "I told you to watch your tongue when you speak to Q! And you... You bloody ignorant bastard! He is trying to disengage his ship. He even took the animals... Oh god..." Alec was looking at his right hand who was busy trying to keep the ship locked onto their ship.  


"What what? What is going on?" James sounded frantic, because a cursing Alec was never a good thing.  


"His heat shields are gone and he took all the animals back to his ship. He..." There was another violent lurch and the old ship disengaged. "Catch the bucket of bolts, NOW!!!" Alec was screaming.  


"Alec, don't you dare leave me behind," James shouted, now running back towards the ship.  
“Do you want me to get Q back or do you want me to be your bloody cabbie?" Alec demanded. "And keep in mind that he has new engines and that he's charged his ship."  


"Q, get Q. I'll--"  


"You'll have a ship waiting for you when you get here," Alec finished for him. "Get ready for hyperspace!" He ordered his men, forgetting to turn off the coms.  


"Fuck..." Alec was shouting orders left and right and the com with the ship was cut when they jumped the hyperspace leaving James alone with static. His tiny ship was slowly leaving the planet's gravitational field and he was getting closer to the ship left for him along with, thankfully, a small crew. As soon as the valves hissed locked and the doors opened James was sprinting to the captain's deck, greeting the man in charge with a nod.  


"Hurry up!"  


"But sir..."  


"Alec left the fastest ship for me for a reason, now get to their last coordinates, there is no time..." They jumped into hyperspace and Bond's gut lurched with dread. He's been so stupid once again. Leaving an insecure alien alone roaming the planet full of other people he haven't seen for years... "And get me all data you have on Adarians mating rituals while you are at it..."  


"Sir?"  


"Do it!"  


After silently deciding that the man they had been put under command somehow managed to be even more insane than Alec himself, the men did as they were told, pushing the ship to its limit as they headed to the constantly changing coordinates that were being fed in their navigational system.  


James, meanwhile, felt overwhelmed by the information he was reading, hitting his face every time he found something in Q's biology and mating way that he had accidentally insulted. It looked like he should have been the one watching porn movies and he was really tempted to ask the men to search for some, but with the horrible karma he was having, everything would end up being misinterpreted by Q.  


The ship gave a sudden lurch and they were out of hyperspace into what seemed a battle field.  


"Alec, report!" James was at the coms at once. "What is your status?"  


He looked at the huge screens that showed outside and it looked like some of MI ships were shooting at Q while some were shooting at the MI ships. Bond's head was getting dizzy. Alec didn't repaint the ships he stole from MI so it looked like they are firing between themselves.  


"What a massacre." One of the people on the bridge yelled. "We must do something."  


Someone pointed at the old ship that was slowly crawling towards the black hole and some of the MI ships were actually firing at it.  
"Alec, stop firing at Q!" James screamed once he got the grips of how to open the coms.  


"It's not us, Bond. Do you think I am so stupid as to fire at my own friend!? Who has no shields up, by the way!" Alec's voice snapped.

 

"Shoot that bloody big ship before it hits Q where it's fatal!"  


Now Bond realised that the ships trying to shoot Q and his ship were actual MI ships while other MI ships were Alec's and they were actually trying to protect it from harm.  


"I need to get on Q's ship! NOW!"  


"Bond, get out of here," Q's almost robotic voice came over the coms. “Go to the people who are really alive. I... ARGH!" The connection cut off in the middle of Q's scream and James felt like the ship was in slow motion, even though he heard the people around him shout to raise the shields, return fire and increase speed.  


“Get Q back on," James growled and when the coms returned there was nothing else besides screams of pain and sobs.  


"I need to get on the ship... Teleport me there for all I care!"  


"But sir, the device is unstable in that ship." One of the guys pointed a finger at the ship that's currently being hit and the engines were already on fire.  


"I don't care! I must get on it!" Bond bellowed.  


"James... Maybe it's..."  


"Shut up, Alec, I must get on it!"  


"You heard the man, get him on the ship." Alec slapped a wristband on Bond's wrist. "It will teleport you back on the ship, as longs as there are bits and pieces of the energy left on the ship! Be careful!"  


Bond just nodded and stood on the teleportation area and was gone in seconds.  


"But sir, the ship..."  


"I know, Eve. It is going to explode soon but I can not do anything. I had to help them..."  


"Sir, ship is being hit by MI. They seem too keen on destroying the engines thoroughly."  


James was thrown on the ground and the world went white and then black and then he was next to the commander's chair just as the ship got hit again? Q's painful screech ripping his heart.  


“Q! Q , I am here, please show yourself."  


"What... What... Are you... Doing?"  


"I've told you we are in this together..." There was another lurch and explosion and Q screamed again. "Q, what is going on?"  


"MI... Kill me..." Q screamed again and a hologram showed up, grey scaled and flickering.  


"But Q, why..."  


"Bond... Leave... Pod... Go" another screech sounded through the ship and the lights flickered off leaving the ship in darkness. "Follow light..."  


"Never! You die, I die!" James insisted and ran to the control panel and called Alec. “Why is Q feeling pain? Can he feel pain if he is not on the ship?"  


"I have no fucking-- Shoot the one closest to the fucking ship! Give me the goddamn control and I will do it," Alec shouted, sticking his tongue out as he managed to land a hit directly in the enemy's ship command deck, the ship James and Q were on shaking from the explosion.

 

“James, I don't know. Eve? Eve can you answer?"  


"As a matter of fact of, yes. Adarians were very intelligent and almost had telekinetic powers. They could commandeer big ships and merge themselves with most of those days technologies. If he is feeling pain, he has to be somewhere on the ship, most probably... The area MI is shooting at. It's their main target. Their bodies, while merged with the technology, had to be connected to a big energy source..."

 

The young woman spoke on after taking a deep breath. "The engines are the only area that can hoist... Tank... And... Area..." The coms broke again but Bond was already on the run.  


"Q! Q I found your body! Q?" James stopped for a moment, hoping to see the man appear besides him, but all he heard was that horrible scream and begs for end.  


"Please! Have pity and kill me directly!" Q begged.  


“You won't die, Q! I'll find you and we'll get out of here!" He was on his knees, trying to rip the floor panels and the walls, ignoring that he was bleeding all over the place. It didn't even register to him that the cat had bit him until the creature moves into his field of vision and smacked his face, hissing at him.  


“Not now," he growled at it and dug his bleeding fingers into another floor panel, the cat biting his hand and wrapping his tails around it, he tried to get James to follow him. James tried to swat it away, but the cat wouldn't let go so he gave up and got up with the intention of hitting it against a wall when the cat detached itself from him and moved to the door. ”Follow you?" The cat rubbed its head against the door and James gave chase, ending up at the engines.  


Cat was jumping down the panels next to engines, heading down and down and down.  
"I can not follow you. It's too dangerous for humans." The cat was out of his sight. James bent double and saw thick cables going down below the engine that should not have been going there.  


"Come on, silly cat. I have to..." There was another lurch and he fell down head first after the cat.  


***  


"James... Please... Leave me... Please..."  
Bond was trying to shake his sight into being, he could feel the cat brushing up his face.  


"Q... What..."  


"Bond... Bond..." Alec's voice sounded in his ear.  


"What?"  


"You better hurry up if you want to... Out... Alive" the coms were dead again.  


It took a moment for James to get his bearings back and when he did, the cat was running from where he was to a place around the corner, where the thick cables also led. “Alec can you do a reading and see how many heart beats you find in this place?" James hoped, he really hoped, but every time he tried to sit up, the ship got hit and he was sent back on his ass.  


"Can anyone get this thing off Q's tail?" He heard Alec bellowing. "3, I can see three heart beats. One is certainly not humanoid and..." Connection was gone again.  


"One has to be the cat, one for me and one for Q!" Bond finally managed to get up and while holding onto a wall and holding his head in another he rounded the corner and he almost fell on his ass again. There was a tank. A huge one at that, Filled to the brim in blue liquid. In it...

 

"Oh god, Q!" In it there was a young man floating, his spine and neck had docking ports and there were huge cables coming from it. The tank itself had cracks in it. Another lurch and the cat that previously was brushing up against it was on a shelf, the liquid spilling copiously.  


"You are breathtaking, Q!" James shouted as he threw himself against the tank, trying to get him out. “You are beautiful and alive and you will stay alive!" He threw himself against it once again and the tank finally gave in, the liquid throwing James against the wall, a few pieces of glass embedding themselves in his chest.  
But he ignored the pain and pulled himself up, running shaky hands on Q's face - it was so soft and so perfect and James felt like he was in heaven. “Q..." He breathed out. "Q, I found you.”  


But the body in his arms remained passive, just twitching randomly and his face would scrunch up as if in pain.  


"I have to get you out of here. I have to do something." James looked at the cables still imbedded in Q's spine. He tried to pull one out but it wouldn't budge. Getting a better grip on in he twisted it and pulled it out. It had a needle of a few centimetres long. He pulled another and another out and all that was left, was the main one. Bond knew that if he pulled it out the ship would descent into darkness and Q would most likely die. But it didn't matter anymore. They were dead anyway now.  


He gently cupped Q's face, smiling sadly. "I think it's going to hurt, love, but I promise that this is the last time you feel pain. But before you feel pain..." He leaned close and gently kissed Q, ignoring the liquid's taste and just concentrating on how soft and warm the lips were. "I won't be keeping my other promises, but at least I kept two of them, right?" He kissed him again, sneaking his hand down Q's spine and with a single, rough tug, the main tube was out of Q's back and everything was dark, Q's screams from the coms switching to the actual body.  


"It hurts..." Q cried and James hugged him tightly, pushing his hand against the open wound, trying to stop the bleeding - and he bled red, how strange.  


"It won't hurt for long, Q," James whispered in his ear and pushed his face against his neck, the man passing out from the pain. The ship shook once and then twice and James was sure that a third hit would destroy them. But before it came, his bracelet suddenly lit up as did a ray of hope in his ear.  


He took it off his hand and put it on Q, grabbing the strangely calm cat and put Q's arms around it, clinging tightly to him before he pushed the teleportation button and hoped for the best.  
Disorientation and noise and screams hit him as it seemed they appeared on the captain's deck on Alec's ship.  


"Alec..." Bond whispered. "Help him, please..." He was still hugging the humanoid body close that was drenched in blue liquid. The cat was gone in seconds and the other man, while naked was unconscious for which Bond was grateful.  


"JAMES! Oh gods! Retreat, RETREAT! Everyone jump to hyperspace. And get medical team to the bridge as soon as possible!" Alec was on his side in seconds, busily taking off jacket to drape on the naked man.  


"Please, take care of Q," James breathed out. "My hands are warm and I think it's his blood... Everything is black and white." Maybe he had gotten hit in the head too many times or something went wrong with the teleportation. But it didn't matter. Q was out of the tank and he had kept his promise.  


"I got the best doctors, don't worry. He'll be fine," Alec promised and Q was wheeled away from his command deck. "Come on; let's have a nurse check you out."  


Alec pulled him to his feet and James felt the world spin around him, legs almost buckling under him. "How did we get here? We lost power when I freed Q."  


"We have no idea, but it all will be clear after you stop looking over my shoulder thinking my head is there, and after Q becomes lucid. I am certain he will be able to explain it all." He guided James to the medical, it just took them much longer because there were more people hurt because of the attack on the MI ships and their counterattacks.  


The doors to medical hissed open and there were screams and groans but the most clear was one both James and Alec knew quite well.  
"Please, kill me... Please... No more... Please..." James was at Q's side at once, gently caressing gel wet hair while doctors fussed out and about him.  


"Q..."  


"Please, let me... Go to... James..." His limbs started twitching involuntarily and Bond was pushed to a side and medical personnel took his place.  


"Alec... They are hurting him... Alec do something... I..." It was a good thing Alec was standing next to the other man because he would have hit ground hard if he wasn't there to catch him.  


"Doctor! Get us a bloody doctor!!"  


James shook his head. "No, no doctor for me, Alec. I am just a bit dizzy. Let them focus on Q. Q needs them." He struggled to get up. "Let me look at him, please. Let me see him."  


Alec hauled him on a inspection bed next to Q. James was leaning on him heavily but the other blonde hasn't commented on that.  


The doctor was fussing over unconscious man but then suddenly stopped and turned to Alec. "Captain, there is nothing else I can do. I stopped the bleeding but I don't understand what is causing him distress. I have never seen anyone like him in all the years of my practice."  


James staggered to his feet and grabbed the doctor on his lapels. "Either you fix him or I will end you!"  
"I am sorry but I don't know how..."  


"You're a doctor! You're supposed to know-"  


"I am not a specialist in extinct aliens!" The man hissed, hands over James', helping him to stay up. "And I am sorry to say this, but your friend is the first of his kind I see in person."  


"Medical records-"  


"Are non-existent. But since he belonged to the MI.... Well, I wouldn't be surprised if they deleted them or cut all access to them the second they realized he wasn't connected to the ship."  


James pushed away from him and fell on his knees next to Q's bed, grabbing his arm. "Love, please fight? For me? Remember what I said I'd do? I need your help to do that."  


The doctor and Alec along with some other people remained silent and didn't comment on anything that happened on the medical bay, and those who had tears running down their cheeks blamed it on the smoke from the areas they came into medical.  


***  


They moved Q to a separate room which was bare, just mere necessities as nobody knew if Q would ever wake up if he would ever. Doctors had stopped the bleeding while marveling at the docking ports that were situated all over his vertebrae, the closest one coming close to his brain. James would spend hours upon hours next to Q, reading to him, telling about all the adventures he and Alec went through and sometimes just sitting quietly and petting the cat that refused to leave the room as well.  


"So, apparently this planet has spring," James said as he sat down next to Q's bed, holding a bouquet of flowers close to his nose. “They are made out ice, but they smell and they'll melt in about two weeks."  


He took Q's hand and ran it over the flowers. “This is cold, in case you don't remember it. Not freezing cold that hurts you, but the one you get from an ice cube. I should get you something warm as well, maybe tea? We'll wait for it to cool down a little before placing your hand on the cup."  


There was a knock on the doors and Alec entered the room along with a doctor and what looked like a nurse. She had a needle with neon green liquid in it. The woman was coming closer to Q and Bond looked like a tiger ready to pounce her.  


"What is this? What are you doing? If you inject this..." James felt a hand on his shoulder, a heavy one at that which stopped him from attacking the poor woman who injected the needle and let the liquid be absorbed by Q's body.  


"James... I..." At the coughing of the doctor Alec added. "We need to talk to you."  


"About what?" Bond hissed. "Injecting more illegal drugs into Q's system? Like he hasn't suffered enough! Tell me what's going on?"  


"Mr. Bond," the doctor interjected quietly, he didn't seem fazed when Bond was in front of him in seconds. "The patient... He is in severe pain. The thing that you did on that cargo ship might saved his body... But his mind is in terrible pain. We have to keep him sedated on Likquins painkillers and to keep him unconscious for him to be alive. His brain will never be..."

There was a fist in his face and the poor doctor staggered and hit a wall. "I have to say it, this..." He gestured towards Q on the bed. "Is just another form of torture! I can not continue assist you in this matter!"  


Bond was ready to hit him again when Alec put a hand on his shoulder. "James, maybe the doc... Maybe the doc is right?" He got a fist in his face as well.  


"And I considered you my friend! If you won't help us... We..." The blonde man scrunched his eyes. "We will take any ship and leave!"  


Alec easily took him down, James too weakened by his emotional state and meal skips to put up an actual fight. “Don't think I will let you do that."  


"I promised him, Alec," James growled. “ I can't let you kill-"  


"If I may," Eve's voice rang over the coms, the woman appearing right next to them. "I think there is a way to save him from the pain without killing him."  


"What? What is it?" James looked at the curly haired woman like she was his savior.  


"It might sound cruel but the only way to save him is to connect him to a ship..."  


"No! I promised him I will never.... He would not want to be forever connect to a ship again." Bond frowned. "Maybe it is better to let him die then..." James went to the bed and gently caressed Q's cheek. The man on the bed frowned briefly and his features evened out.  


"Cut it out, with the drama!" The woman sighed, obviously used to Alec's dramatic acts. "Adarians usually knew where their body was, usually in a tank of nourishing liquid, and if need arose, they could consciously return to their body, while preparing the mind and said body. Also the maximum time spent in the liquid is 6 months at most, from what I gathered neither of conditions were fulfilled."  


James wanted to rip his hair out. “So, what you are telling me I'd that he's brain dead unless he's in a tank because MI kept him in there for over 100 years?" He was going to kill everyone even vaguely associated with them.  


"Not necessarily, " Eve said after a moment. "He'll know where his body is... We don't know the consequences of sitting in a tank this long."  


"Do you even have a tank and the liquid?"  


"We can get just a small tank because we aren't planning to keep him in it for long." Eve looked hopefully at Alec. "If the captain agrees that is!"  


"Yes, yes, he is my friend as well." Alec already was browsing to get the appropriate tank and the liquid, which apparently was illegal as well.  


"How come you know so much about them?" Bond narrowed his eyes at the all knowing woman.  


"Well... When I was in university, my roommate was doing a degree on their species..."  


"Let me guess, foxy red hair with a tail and extra long tail?" Bond finished.  


"Yeah, same one. How did you..."  


"Well, it looks like you and Alec shared more than a ship." Bond laughed.  


"Well, tank is ordered, liquid will be delivered tomorrow."  


James actually slept in the same bed as Q that night, wrapped around him like a boa constrictor around its prey. “We'll find a way to fix this, I promise." And he kissed his temple and forced himself to go to sleep.  


***  


Everyone wanted to strangle James."He's moving too fast. Tell him to go slower. Can I do it?" That was what he was saying at everything anyone was doing.  


"Can I get in the tank with him?"  


"No, James, you can not go into the tank with. It would interfere with the cables." Eve snapped at Bond who was running around bossing everyone.  


"This man," she gestured at the crippled old man who was gently plunging the unconscious man into blue liquid once again. They had put in all the cables into the docking ports. Bond looked at Q, who now had a black body suit on and his short hair floated about.  


"All the data and devices are ready. We just need to plunge the last one in." The old man took the thickest cable and pushed it into Q's head none too gently. There was the same obscene sound Bond has heard quite a few times.  


"Jaaaames.... Leave!!!!" A grayscale hologram showed up. The resemblance to the man in the tank was striking, just the man in the hologram was even more thin, shorter and hunched up.  
James moved next to the tank. Q! Q, look here and concentrate. Get a reading on your surroundings and relax. Please, love."  


"Lowe? Love? James?!" Q was at Bond's side. "I am... Analysing data..." Q's hologram became coloured once again and his eyes glazed over in blue. "I... James.. You... This is another ship... Commander, are you going to..."  


"Qui'na'gin, please..."  


"NO!!! You have no right to call me that name!" The lights suddenly were gone. Everyone on the captain's deck was silent. Only the tank was light up and Bond was next to it, looking at Q's body fondly, trying to caress it through the glass. "You... You... You did this... You found my body just to disconnect me from my ship... To put me on... On this thing... So you can exploit me further... You all are alike! Humans, MI, everyone!" Q's hologram was flickering. "You even got rid of Bagheera! How could you? What did she do to you?"  


"Q!!!!" Alec shouted. "Put your genius brain to work then and think about all of this!!!"  


"No! The last time I put my brain to work, I killed my kind. I don't want to!"  


"Q, please, " James begged, on his knees. “ I would never... Alec would never... You were in pain... We had to connect you like this to keep you alive."  


The hologram was crying and the body in the tank looked in discomfort. “I want you to kill me! I am tired.... I am alone."  


"But darling love, you are not alone. You are not... And I promised not to kill you. I am not going to kill you... And those things I said to you while we were swimming in the sun... I want to do all of those those things to you. If you'd have me... But now darling, you have to concentrate." Bond was looking at the hologram now, the young man in it was crying, almost sobbing now. "You must concentrate on your body now, Q, it's in this tank. But we had to get a small one and I apologise for that but we were in a hurry, you see, you were in pain... And Alec the bastard, said you are probably better off dead but I couldn't... I couldn't do that... Not when I love you!"  


Some people on the deck were wiping their tears while Alec was biting his knuckles and Eve her nails.  


"James..." Q whined. “ James, I don't want to be like this anymore. I am tired."  


"I found your body, love. We saved it. You're safe. You don't have to do anything for anyone anymore if you don't want to and I promise, love, I swear on my life and soul that you will be able to walk in your own body.  


"James, you--" Eve had started to say but cut herself off when she saw the look James gave her. "It's a slim chance, Q, but there is one."  


"James..." Q was looking at the man who came to mean so much to him. "Promise me, that if... That if I am not... Me... If I must be kept on machines all the time to live, even after I come back to my body... You will kill me..." The look on Bond's face probably said something that made Q shrink even more in his hologram form.  


"I'll do it, Q. If that bastard at whom you look so fondly fails even in one aspect, I'll do it and free you from your misery." Alec came to stand in front of the hologram. "Captain's word. You are on my ship, after all."  


"Very well, Alec." Q nodded. "James, thank you for it all..." He bowed his head and the hologram flickered out, lights turned back on and the coms were back online.  


James threw Alec a look that managed to be a mix between hatred and thankfulness before pressing himself up against Q’s tank. “C'mon love, come back to me," he whispered, shaking. “Let me hold you and squeeze me back. Don't make them kill you."  


A growl came from behind him and people screamed, but James knew who it was and smirked. Bagheera was there, rooting for its creator, hoping just like him. Suddenly Q's body jerked and all the connections disengaged. The man in the tank opened his eyes and looked at everyone.  


"Quick! Quick! Pull him out before he chokes on it!" Bond was at the top of the tank, he even jumped in it, the fluids were running out of the tank over the top but Alec wasn't even batting an eyelid that there was drowning on his deck. The blonde grabbed the body and pulled it close to him and out in the air.  


"James..." Was the only word Q whispered and Bond felt like a sense of deja vu hit him again like in that ship that was Q's prison.  


"We must get him to the medical!" The old doctor was at their side and pulling Q from Bond's arms. "Let go, before you kill him, you fool!"  


"I'll carry him," James snapped, pulling Q in his arms and starting to run. "Although I am curious how you know this since yesterday, you didn't know anything."  


"Warm," Q coughed out, hand twitching, trying to clutch his throat. It hurt and it took him a few moments to remember how to use his mouth and a few more to get his arms to collaborate with him.  


“You're feeling me, Q. I am warm and you..are cold right now, but we will get you all warmed up very soon."  


They were in medical in less than 5 minutes and James gently peeled the suit off Q, gently cleaned the excessive fluid from his face, hands and feet and at least some out of his hair. "I am here, Q!" The man draped a blanket over the still body. The other man was looking at him with his jade eyes.  


"James..."  


"I am not leaving you, darling love, don't worry!" He looked at the doctor and nurses that were running around like they were without heads and snapped at one of them. "Do something! Help him!"  


"There is nothing we can do. He is in his own body now and if he survives the night, he will live. Not that I will call that living. Muscle atrophy is what is wrong with him. Even if you think he has a genius brain, he will be a prisoner in his own body. Make him sit, the weight of his own chest can make his lungs collapse."  


"Q," Alec called, wanting the man to force himself to turn his head in his direction. “ Q, I want to show you something," he said sweetly, cracking his knuckles. “No James, the doctor is right; let him try to move. But do help him sit up."  


James glared for a second before he gently pulled Q up, Eve quickly adjusting the bed. “Try to do what Alec said, love," he whispered in his ear, kissing his temple.  


“I felt that," Q struggled to say and smile, first willing his hologram to appear before he remembered that he was finally real again and tried really hard to move his neck.  


“Take your time, Q. We have all day," Alec assured him, flexing his fingers. There suddenly was a growl and people around them screamed and shouted.  


"Bagheera..." Q whispered.  


"Yes, she's here. She helped us escape your prison. I am so grateful for that." James was caressing the sticky hair on Q's head. He pushed his face in Q's hair. "I don't know what would have happened if you had died..."  


"Commander Bond, this humanoid is..." The doctor began. "He is the last of his species. We must do rese..." There was a crunch of bones breaking and Alec shaking his hand.  


Q was blinking rapidly.  


"That was hot blood of humanity." Eve interjected quietly as if trying to explain things to Q.  


“And I wanted to show you how to punch someone who forgot his bedside manners, but you know that patience and me do not go well hand in hand," Alec explained as he moved in Q's field of vision. “Mind if I shake your hand?"  
Q wanted to shake his head and push his hand forward, but of course he couldn't. “ Go ahead, Alec. I always wondered if your skin was rough or soft."  


The touch to his hand was sensational. It's been so long since he's been in presence of other people. Gentle press of fingers wrapping around his hand had tears running down his cheeks and he jerked involuntarily.  


"What is it Q? Are you in pain? Q? Q?" Bond was touching him all over.  


"Bond, stop it!" Eve grabbed his shoulders at the same time shoving Alec out of the way.  


"He's in pain, oh god Q... I am so sorry!"  


Eve violently showed Bond out of the way and away from Q.  


"Darling, deep breaths. I promise we won't touch you in case it's necessary."  


"No, please... It's just so new..."  


James pulled himself up and stopped a few inches away from Q. ”Can I sit closer to you? Promise I won't touch you if you don't want to."  
Q thought he smiled but his face muscles were currently doing whatever they wanted. “If you can just rest your fingers on the back of my hand?"  


"Yes, yes of course." Bond put his fingers gently on Q's hand and smiled when the other man closed his eyes, resting.  


***  


Q was faring a lot better. He still couldn’t walk and he could barely wiggle his toes, but he could move his hand and he touched everything he saw and if it was okay, he pushed his face against them. Bond became his constant companion, along with Alec and Eve. He would have constant visitors but James would growl at everyone who stayed too long.  


"Interesting, " Q muttered once, moving his fingers and looking around for a document before he remembered that he no longer could summon one at will.  


“What interesting? " James asked, looking around the room.  


“I had no idea humans growled.“ Eve laughed next to Q on the other side of the bed.  


"No, darling, just Bond it seems. He is quite overprotective of you." She stood up and went out, her heels clicking loudly in the floor. God only knew where she got them from.  


"James..." He looked at the blonde. "About this..."  


"Oh here you are, Q" Alec's loud voice sounded even louder in the quiet room. "Could you be so kind, and tell Bagheera to stop scaring people in medical? I don't mind, but they are becoming twitchy when handling syringes and laser scalpels."  


"Bagheera! " Q called, his shout barely louder than a whisper. But the animal heard him and it was by his side instantly, face going through James' as he growled. “Bagheera, no. Do not scare people."  


James' eye twitched, tempted to growl back at the hologram. "Anyway, you were saying? "  


"I know... You've..." There was a deep inhale and Q started again. " I would understand if you'll leave me... I am..." There was a tear rolling down his cheek which James brushed off with the tips of his fingers. "What is that word... A... Cripple. There, now... I've said it. I don't even know..." He closed his eyes and whispered. "Why are you even with me?"  


James leaned over and gently poked his nose. “Love means sticking by someone even when they are ill. And you are not a cripple."  


"But this love... It requires consummation. And you still haven't showed me a woman you want me to mate with. I'd assume you'd want me to mate with one. At least... Those before who wanted... To court me, would drag a woman along." Q closed his eyes again. "Or is it Eve? She's the only woman I've seen who's been talking to me..."  


Alec was fuming a bit further down and glaring at Bond none too gently.  


"Wait, wait, no. That is not how it works with us humans, " James interrupted. “We do not need a woman to consummate our love. Eve is a friend and nothing more. I am courting you differently."  


Alec leaned over and smacked James upside the head. “What did I tell you?"  


Q 's reaction was a bit violent, trying his best to lean over James and protect his head. “Alec!"  


"Wait no, Q, we are not super sensitive when it comes to our head," Alec said quickly. “I didn't make an attempt on his life."  


"You humans are so different... I can not even start listing the points." Q looked curiously at James.  


"What do you mean, courting differently? Aren't there some universal rules? Don't you have a female in same sex relationship to continue the line?" Q leaned his head back on the pillow.  


"No, darling love, we don't need anyone else but two people. Unless... Unless you want a threesome?" James offered lamely.  


Alec smacked James on the head again. "You are a bloody idiot, I don't know what did you do to deserve someone like him?!"  


Q managed to lift a shaky hand and move it towards James, the man understanding instantly and gluing himself to him. “ I guess we need to talk?" Q smiled weakly. “How many organs do males have?"  


Eve choked on air.  


"Um... I think it's time Eve and I left." Alec had the courtesy to blush while Eve laughed like she's gone mad.  


"Um... Q?" James didn't even know where to start.  


"Let me tell you about my planet. When people... In my planet, well if they decided to consummate, which was usually because they wanted to extend the line... And that is usually between a male and a female, they do not need a third. But if two males find infatuation between themselves, they always have to bring a female as a third, otherwise their relationship is considered amoral and on the border of illegal..." Q briefly closed his eyes as if thinking.  


"Do you mean to say..."  


"I am not done yet, James, I am just tired and it's exhausting and it makes me miserable and sad to think about my kind..."  


James leaned and kissed his head again, scared when Q shook violently and his face turned red. “What did I do? Did I hurt you? Should I get the doctor that doesn't have a broken nose and missing tooth?"  


Q shook his head once, head lowered. “I am getting better because... Ah... we're sensitive there and when you did that, it was like you... touched..." he trailed off and coughed.  


"So I should stop---"  


"No, no," Q said louder, brushing his hand against James. “I get like that if it is touched in a certain way. That is why, when I watched what I thought to be instructional videos, I was really surprised the males hit-"  


"So tell me more about your way of courting. “  


"Well, the females usually told us how many brothers or sisters they had when they were interested. It showed that they were very fertile." He snorted then. “My sister and I were very sought after because of we had three more siblings, all females, and because our brain scores were so high."  


James had never been so lost. “I was an only child and... Well, I don't know how high my IQ is. But I know I love you. Did that factor in?"  


"Love was decided after we saw if we were compatible. Interes was important. Males, after presenting a female, created something for the person they were interested in as well as brought all sorts of machines or blueprints."  
James was starting to wonder how he had managed to get Q to love him when he wasn't able to do any of those things.  


"And if male had an interest in a male, on top of presenting them with blueprints and other gadgets they also had to present a female, who would be willing to carry a child to term so we could extend our line, especially keeping our line, it was extremely important... So when you started talking, I'd assumed you'd want to extend your line, that was one of the reasons I left you with the women on the planet..." Q looked hopefully at James.  


"No, darling love, none of that. Humans only have relationship with one person at a time. Sometimes for all their life. It's just one person. And as I can see we are everywhere in the universe, so there is no worry we'll get extinct!" James grinned toothily.  


Q suddenly looked at James with worry in his eyes. "But if it's only two people in male consummation, how do you?" He blushed furiously. "Tell me instead, how many breeding organs do human males have?"  


James looked like he is going to be sick. The way Q spoke, it sounded that copulation between two (or three mind you) people in his species was more like a chore than something to be cherished.  


"We have one," he said slowly. "Q, if you don't want to sleep with me, you don't have to. Humans do it for pleasure, not just to ensure the survival of our species. “  


"I... We..." Q stuttered. "James, we... My species... We have... Two..." He muttered.  
"Two what?" James felt that today was the day he showed how little brain he had.  


"Two breeding organs!" Q tried to exclaim but it sounded just like a normal speech.  


James remembered what he said not too long ago and wanted to shoot himself. “Well, there's no problem. I can use one of my hands or both of you want to... Do you... That is, in a male relationship, would you... I don't even know what I like... I've never... I've never courted anyone... I found no interest in females and males... Well they'd better go for one of my sisters than me as I am a... Runt..."  


James blinked. “So you were the youngest of them? Unless you were a child then I don't see how that would affect them." Still, James was happy that the others had been stupid enough to overlook him. “As for what you like... We can experiment together."  


"But how could you... Why would you..." Q was at a loss of words. "Why would you be with me? I am inadequate compared to... Say Alec... I am thin. I can not even walk, nor I am smart, I feel so stupid when being next to people, who are alive. I keep trying to conjure my hologram instead of thinking and doing things, it doesn't feel natural but then again I haven't felt anything real for more than a century..."  


James leaned close and kissed his nose. “You are smart, Q. And what you are doing is a force of habit since you did for the past hundred years. As for Alec and I..." He broke down laughing. "I don't even know where to start on how wrong that would be. But love, I can use my mouth and my hand or if you want to be the one on top, I can help you stretch me. But you'd have to go slow. I can't take at once right away."  
"What... What stretching? And why at once?" Q had his head resting on Bond's palm, the later slowly caressing his hair.  


"Darling love, if you have two, how else do you think I would satisfy you?"  


"James... Those two organs, after ejaculation, the first one retracts and the second one emerges, so I am ready... To go again at once, it is very difficult for our females to get pregnant so we have to impregnate them as many times in sequence as possible, some of males, could go on for 24 hours." Q blushed again. "I don't think... My retraction period should be shorter as I've... Never had a partner..."  


James was going to ask either Eve or Alec for that college friend of his so both he and Q could go to special sex education classes. “I thought you had them both at once so... As for stretching, well it depends on the size of the organ... well, actually, because it's in the..." James had never felt this awkward in his life.  
There was a knock on the doors and James sighed while Q was so curious and lovely he just wanted to snog him senseless.  


"I am sorry to interrupt but Q has to have dinner." The nurse came in with a tray what looked like weirdly shaped coloured things Bond has never seen before.  


"Are you sure these are not poisonous?" He almost growled and Q let out a giggle at the other man.  


"I am sorry... It's just... I've never felt like this before. You are being so silly, James."  


"Yes, Commander Bond, it's not the first time we've eaten when you weren't present." The nurse snapped at the overprotective man, and even Bagheera who was lazing on the alien man's legs rolled onto her back and showed her belly, as if mocking him.  


James was tempted to bite the woman's hand and somehow find a way to kick the panther off the bed. “Can I taste it?"  


"Mister Bond-"  


"No, I am curious what it tastes like, honestly. ”  


“This is not something we usually eat this, James," Q explained softly. “But my stomachs can't process actual food right now."  
It looked like flower petals from those cold areas Alec picked flowers for Q and some branches, and there was also this turquoise looking orange lookalike.  


"So is it frozen water?" James tried to grab one but the nurse slapped his hand and Q actually managed to frown.  


"James, you'll get sick if you eat it. Humans can not actually eat it. What do humans eat?" Q was munching on one of the turquoise oranges and he looked like he was enjoying it. Bond sneaked one when neither Q nor the nurse weren't looking. He put it in his mouth and wanted to spit it out at once but couldn't because that would mean he'd have to admit he'd stolen something in the first place.  


"We eat..." He stopped to swallow, face turning green for a moment, "meat from certain animals and some plants." The short version was all he could manage before he got up and rushed to spill his guts in a toilet.  


Q watched, worried, and he even forced his legs to move, managing to swing them over to the side of the bed before the nurse could stop him.  


“He's not going to die."  


"But... Vesper..." Q tried to argue.  


"No, Q..." she gently pushed him back on the bed. "If you stay on the bed... I will go and check on him, yes?"  


Q nodded slowly and continued to munch on the weirdly coloured fruits while the nurse went to the adjoining room.  


"Commander Bond... I still don't understand why are you staying with this man?" She went into the bathroom.  


"What?" Bond whipped his head round while trying to rinse the bile from his mouth.  


"He can barely walk. He is alien to this and any other world.... I think you would be so much better off with a woman..."  


James flexed his fingers. “I am going to give you a warning because I don't hit women." He grabbed her arm and pulled her close, snarling. “Q is my lover. I will stay with him until either one of us dies and if this universe is unlucky enough to allow him to go first..." He took a deep breath to calm down. "Or if he gets bored of me. No man or woman, no matter what species, will be better than Q. Understand? "  


"Are you certain, commander?" Suddenly her appearance changed to that of Q and you could actually mistake the two but for the eyes. Jade in the colour so dark will be never mixed up to one of dark brown.  


"Yes, that I am. And if you upset him at least a tiny bit, I will tear all your limbs off and will sink you in acid while you are still breathing." He grabbed her none too gently as her appearance changed back to that of a woman and dragged her out of the room, leaving Q confused but being distracted by his feline friend.  


"You're going to have a new nurse starting today," James announced as he sat back down to him. “I am so tempted to feed you."  


"You know what the doctor said, James, but never mind that." He frowned. "What happened to Vesper."  


James sighed. "In your culture, was there ever someone who tries to break the couples apart?"  


"Not someone but something. Death." Q's imposingly green eyes widened, he was getting so good at facial expressions. "James, are you dying? Is that why you are staying with me? Why haven't you told me?" He took a deep breath to continue but Bond's lips were on his and they were kissing. Not open mouthed kisses because James didn't know what Q's views on it were, just gentle nips on the lips.  
When they finally stopped Q looked like he was half unconscious and there was a doctor tearing up Bond off the alien man.  


"What did you do? What?" The woman now was screeching like a banshee at him, given her 3 eyes she looked even more scary.  


"I don't know! He was panicking and I kissed him! Oh God, what did I do?" He ripped himself away from the doctor and fell on his knees next to Q's bed, pushing his face against his hand. " I didn't mean to harm him! I thought... In space we kissed and..."  


"It was space you bloody fool! This is real. Have you considered that maybe with all the bacteria that humans carry naturally you might have infected him with something that can be lethal for him?!" She was still screaming at him when James felt a gentle caress of Q's fingers on his cheek.  


"What was that?" He asked dizzily. "And please no shouting, my ears start to hurt."  


James almost grabbed his head and kissed him again, but managed to stop himself.

“Remember what we did in space? When our lips were against each other?" Q nodded, space itself in his eyes. "What I did now was a milder version of that. I didn't use my tongue-"  


"You use your tongue for that?" Q interrupted, eyes huge. “And it is an act of intimacy?" It was James' turn to nod. “If you do it with a woman, would she get pregnant? Is your tongue like the organ?"  


"No, darling love, it's nothing like that. It's nothing like that."  


"But does it..."  


Bond put a finger to Q's lips to shush him. "Shhh... My darling, it's nothing like that."  
The doctor who was checking Q over was almost red in the face trying to stop her howling laughter.  


"I will be back soon, sweet, it seems I have an urgent matter to speak to Alec about." Bond kissed him on the forehead and almost ran out of the room at Q's indecent moan.  


Alec was in the docks it seemed, busy giving orders to fix the ships after the fight with MI and rescuing Q.  


James leaned on him and slapped his chest, smiling. "Alec, I need your help with something."  


Alec was quick to push him away, holding his hands up. "Look, Q is drop dead gorgeous, but I only see him as a friend. If you can't help him get release the second time--"  


James slapped him upside the head. "I don't need your help with THAT. Well, I do, but not the way you are thinking it. Do you, by any chance, still have the number of the foxy redhead? Because even though Q kissed me when we were in space, when I gave him a peck this time and nothing more and I started to explain what it was, he was under the impression that we, humans, could impregnate women with our...tongue."  


Of course Alec was rolling around on the ground, laughing so loud that probably even Q was hearing it in the Med bay.  


***  


As promised Alec got the contact of the academy times friend he and Eve were both fond of and she had just arrived and was getting settled when Bond barged into her rooms without knocking. Seeing a red haired curvy woman with a foxy tail changed his whole perception on what Alec had told him about foxy. Her tail was almost as wide as her waist when she turned.

 

"Um... Yes, hello!" He smiled.  


"Greetings." She smiled back and Bond could see her sharp teeth.  


"I am Bond. James Bond. I asked Alec to invite you over."  


She came closer and it looked like she was sniffing air, then her smile softened. "Sa'ar is my name. I am very glad to meet you." Her face scrunched up. "It's been awhile since I've used allspeak."  


James was sure surprise showed on his face as she continued. "I spent a long time in a reclusive planet, that is similar to Adari..." Her shoulders dropped. "Sadly the natives are still in early evolutionary stages, reminding me of XIX century humans."  


James nodded. "Still, I am sure you are getting quite a lot of important data when the rulers of the planet don't want to burn you at the stake for being a witch or whatever we humans used to do when someone only slightly different from us appeared in our society. "  


"They are quite fascinating and it is interesting to see how they slowly starting to evolve, helping me sustain my theory that parallel universes occur within our own, but they appear slower due to how time works."  


"Very interesting," James hummed. "What would you say if I were to ask your help with an actual, living, breathing, marvelous, superb, genius, breath-taking, wonderful, lovable, Adari?"  


The woman was in front of him in seconds, hissing like a snake. "Do you think it is entertaining to make fun at an extinct species? They suffered so much, being as peaceful as they were, being involved in Great Colony Wars which they had nothing to do with, just because their genius leader's child ended up a hostage being kept by MI? Whole planet sacrificed themselves so the child could live and you...

 

You..." She was breathing heavily in his face. "You humans are such... Ungh..." She strode out of the room, people jumping out of her way while Bond was left shocked in the middle of her quarters.  


James ran after her. "I am not mocking them, nor you! My lover is one and we need your help with the biological part of their and mine species. You see, he said he had two and I thought he meant at the same time, so I started to tell him about--" He jumped back just in time to avoid getting hit in the face with the tail.  


"You're going to far," she growled and James was sure that he was saved from being ripped into pieces by Bagheera suddenly appearing between them, roaring at her.  


"Get it away from me!!" The woman screamed and it was starting to become like a comedy show Bond noticed Q and Eve were watching on evenings.  


Shooing the panther away from the newcomer he crouched next to her, trying to calm her down. "Don't worry, she's not real. Come on... You were fuming at me just a minute ago..." The woman looked at him with fear in her eyes.  
"I have a phobia of felines." She whispered, then narrowed her eyes at the man and stood up. "Do you think me a fool? Do you think I will fall for such petty lies and think you really have a real Adari on the ship?"  


James sighed. "I am not lying. An Adari really is on this ship and he is my partner. He was kept by the MI in a ship for about a hundred years... Oh." Something clicked in his mind and his hatred for the MI grew even more. “Listen, was the prince a brown haired, green eyed, frail man? That might have been considered a runt on his planet?"  


The woman frowned, nodding. “But just because you described him doesn't mean anything since pictures of him are in public records. In face, now claiming to have the prince here makes me think you're lying even more!"  


"I will prove this to you. We just need to go to his rooms." Bond was nodding to himself.  


The woman then smacked him with her tail. "Now I know you are outright lying. Where is Alec? I came here on his request and all I get is you, because he is apparently unavailable at the moment!"  


"BOND! Oh look, you're here!" Eve sounded stressed. "Hello, Sa'ar!" She purred.  


"Eve! Alec didn't mention that you are on the ship..." The red haired woman smiled a gentle smile.  


"Yeah, there is an issue why we asked you to come but later about that, we have more pressing matters." She took Bond by the elbow and started whispering. "You shouldn't start screaming or letting the doctors know but Alec kidnaped Q to the planet, he said and I quote: 'he spent way too long being locked up in a ship!'"  


"Without me?" James still screamed, ending up being elbowed in the mouth. “Eve!"  


"I said don't scream."  


"Give me their coordinates, so I can go kill Alec and be Q's guide," James growled, checking to see if he was bleeding.  


"It doesn't matter, they are coming back now. It's been like half a day already..." She added.  


"But why are you telling me this only now?" Bond was looking crossly at her.  


"Q told me not to tell you for this very same reason he predicted." She hissed. "You look like a guarding dog instead of a lover." The dark skinned woman crossed her arms and glared at thee man. "Sa'ar, let's leave this idiot so we get catch up!"  


James was stunned. Was he restricting Q? Holding him back from doing what he wanted? Had he turned into a physical representation of the tank MI had shoved him him? Because that hadn't been his intention. He had only wanted to keep Q safe and prove to him that he was a good lover - and because he was an idiot compared to him, he had tried to woo him with protection.  


Bad idea, it seemed, if Q had opted to sneak away from him. Maybe the man needed some space and he would give it to him.  
He took his time getting to Q's room and knocked on the door, waiting to be invited in.  
But the invite never came. Bond knocked again and then tried to open the doors but it seemed that it was locked. Frowning even more Bond retreated. He decided that observation deck will do him good. Stargazing always called him down. Even when his thoughts continued to circle around Q. Did he really managed to push Q away by acting like a fool? The closer he came to the deck, the more loud the voice became.  


"Oh Bagheera how I wished he was with me... Don't look at me like that, Alec is a dear friend but attending a love festival not with your beloved and just a friend was frustrating.  


" I mean Alec showed me all these things, even gave me ice flowers, but it seems that I've had received them before. I don't remember where from but I swear I did..."  


Bond entered the deck and saw Q, sitting on the only plush chair available with the giant panther still lazing at his feet.  


"Q..." He started. There goes his stargazing, he is once again looking over his lover's shoulder, overprotecting him.  


"James... Please join me..."  


James was next to him in a heartbeat. “I don't mean to hold you from doing things you want to do," he started to say the second he sat down. “I have been called a neanderthal - an evolutionary step for my species - in the past but I really didn't mean to act like one. And if I scared you, know that I never meant to. I just wanted to protect you and since I used to be am agent, I tend to go overboard without realizing it. I didn't mean to suffocate you." He stopped to take a deep breath of air, feeling dizzy.  


"Sush..." There was a finger on his lips. "It's nothing like that. I've never had anyone to guard me, or look after me. And you, James Bond, dared to do the things no one did." Q gently kissed him on the lips, not the peck but a closed mouth kiss. "Alec took me to a love festival... It was most enlightening. I was very glad to know kisses are to be shared in public." He smiled gently.  


James carefully cupped his chin, smiling against his lips. “I would do anything for you, my love." He pecked his lips and then his nose and eyelids. “Except know where to start with how much affection can verify shown to the world around us."  


Q smiled, resting his hand against James', moving his head to kiss his palm. “We'll learn together. Oh, I asked Alec and he said I can kiss you anywhere I want, public or body - wise."  


He could bet Alec loved explaining things to Q, telling him how humans could kiss with their tongues down each other's throats. "I hope you aren't grossed out. It also doesn't mean we have to do it..."  


"No no, I certainly am not... And I think we should do it sometime, along with other things he had mentioned. Speaking of mentioning, Bagheera told me, that you had an argument with some red haired woman." Q tilted his head to a side.  


And before James could say a word in his defense they both heard the voice that Bond came to associate with the woman with fox tail.  
"Eve, and can you imagine, he was lying through his teeth and telling me that there was Adari prince on Alec's..." She saw James and Q on the plush arm chair and Eve had bumped into her back. "...ship." She finished lamely.  


"She was the woman Bagheera told you about," James whispered before placing a kiss on Q's ear, careful not to touch his hair. “And this is the wonderful Adari I was telling you about. My lover. My mate. My soul. My-"  


"Yes, James, I think she got it," Eve interrupted him, helping Sa'ar sit down on a chair and giving her a glass of water.  


“Your Majesty, " the woman breathed out, bowing her head.  


Q looked with stricken fear in his eyes at the woman. "No..." He breathed. "Do not... Do not call me that anymore..." He crossed his arms in front of himself. "It is the past and I want nothing to do with it."  


And Bond could see why Sa'ar addressed him with that title because in that moment he was the ruler of his long lost planet even if he remained the sole citizen.  


"Q, I... We... Alec and I asked her to come so she could explain about the mating customs for me." He's going to take all the blame if Q decided to snap.  


But Q turned red. “That was a good idea, actually. I... think it would be for the best if a doctor is allowed to explain how things work. Provided you do not call me anything besides Q and you treat me normally." He looked at Sa'ar when he said that, eyes filled with sadness.  


“Yes, of course... Q." She smiled awkwardly and her tail flinched. "Now, what is your first question? " It looked like she is uncomfortable with Q not using a title.  


"Is it true that humans only have reproduction organ? James mentioned that they only have one, but maybe... Maybe they are amputated to have only one?" He blushed profusely while not looking James or Eve in the eye.  


"Yes, humans naturally have only one reproduction organ. Some do have more, but not many and that is usually a result of a DNA mutation."  


"James, you sure you still have it? I remember the high priestess of-"  


"Is the Adari... liquid deadly?" James asked, stunning Eve into silence.  


Even Sa'ar was speechless.  


"Do you mean the essence of fertility?" Q laughed. "No, good god no! I was told it tastes sweet but there was never opportunity for me to know if it's true or not." He frowned slightly.

 

"How does or male and male couples produce offspring?" He looked innocently at them all.  


"Ours is salty, just so you know." He held his hand up to keep Sa'ar quiet. “As for kids... I am sorry Q, but two men cannot have children."  


"But medicine has advanced to the point where we could take DNA material from both of you and then implant it in an artificial uterus. În case you two want children."  


"No... No, no, no..." Q looked scared. "We can not... My DNR is incompatible with any other species, that's why we only mated between ourselves and went extinct." He retreated to his armchair, breathing deeply. James was caressing his hair gently now.  


"Could you please stop petting his hair?" Sa'ar snapped none too gently.  


"I beg your pardon?" James glared daggers at her. He was starting to doubt how she was even friends with Alec and Eve.  


"Touching an Adari on the head could be considered the equivalent of someone touching you on your..." She cleared her throat, glancing away. “Their hair is very sensitive. There's a whole ceremony involved when it comes to cutting their hair and done only by a doctor and while they are sedated."  


It explained why Q was shaking under his hand right now, biting his lower lip and trying really hard to hold back from opening his mouth.  
“I... did not know that. I won't ever touch-"  


"Never say never, James."  


"Could you please stop!" He stood up suddenly and clutched James' shoulder because he got dizzy. James only put his own hand on the thinner one but otherwise remained impassive. "I am my own person and there is no need to pretend that I am incapable of basic decisions!"  
Not done .  


"And maybe... Maybe you'd think I am different. Maybe I enjoy when James touches my hair. Don't you think I'd object if I was feeling uncomfortable."  


The woman quickly bowed her head, bringing her tail and hand on her chest. “ I am sorry for assuming... Q. I simply thought that you felt like you had to let him do it because he saved you."  
Q snorted. “I am letting him do this because I like it. No, I LOVE it."  


"You, like once my family, think that I am incapable of distinguishing good from bad or when people used me for their own good. Trust me, those years have gone. I spent way too long time to analyze and understand what did I do wrong and why MI abused and used me for so long..."  


James took his hand and kissed it, planting a kiss on his knuckles. “ I believe you are here to answer our questions, not to judge us?" His grin got bigger when Q tugged him down to give him a small peck on his cheek.  


The woman was just gasping for breath when they separated, Eve was shocked as well.  
"Now now... Does it mean you started inviting people to watch you two make out?" Alec's voice sounded from the doorway. The bulkier man came in, grabbed Q across the shoulders and ruffled his hair with his other hand. "Are you telling them about your adventures on the planet?"  


The woman bit her lip to keep quiet about what Alec was doing, helped by the fact that Q truly looked like he was enjoying it. “Alec, you could have prepared me for this, she chided him. “I am afraid I already made a fool of myself and insulted them twice."  


"I like to surprise people? " His code for 'I forgot'.  


“ I told him I knew what a kiss was now and that it was okay to do it in public." He tugged Alec closer and started to whisper in his ear. “I didn’t tell me that I want to try that love vortex with him yet."  


"Love what??" James looked like the vein on his forehead will pop soon.  


"Love vortex. It's part of funfair. And James... Did you know of candy floss?" Q looked like he was obsessed. "Alec helped me get some into the ship." Q looked at the captain hopefully.  


"Yes yes, one cargo ship is full of that one." Alec scratched the back of his head. "And if anything, Sa'ar, I am sure James can understand that you are new to all of this, especially meeting a member of royal family from a long extinct planet, I am sure you, yourself have some questions for him."  


"Ah, they are actually answering my questions with what they are asking me and I would like to apologise again for.... speaking out of term. "  
Q turned to look at James and as usual he had the man's full attention. “ can we go to the live vortex tomorrow? "  


"Anytime you want, just don't want to you to exhaust yourself. And also, maybe we could go and check that candy floss cargo ship Alec mentioned, I am worried about his mental well being when it concerns you." James offered his hand to the fluffy haired man which the other gently took. They went out of the room, with the panther following them at a decent pace.  


"Quite a pair, aren't they?" Alec nudged the tailed woman.  


"You don't say, you don't bloody say!"  


"Hey, don't bite my head off just because I forgot to tell you I was calling because of an Adari and that his partner tends to be in constant overprotective mode, " Alec said as he slowly backed away from her. "Did you tell them anything important?"  


"The questions were... Ah, how should I put this?" She brought her tail on front of herself and started to caress it. “There were mentions in history books that Prince Qui'na'gin never had even attempted to get a courting approved and I thought they were exaggerating because they did not want anyone to start searching for his descendants, but the questions he asked leaves me to believe that he did not even sync brainwaves with one of his kind."  


"Um... Sa'ar... About synchronizing those brain waves? Could you tell us more about that?" Alec looked worriedly at the woman and Eve narrowed her eyes in suspicion.  


"Well... There is usually this device that makes their holographic doubles and they usually are in space during that time so no sound intervenes in their connection and they well... Their holograms mate. It is the only way how two men can do it alone without the interference of a third which is usually the case once the hand fasting ceremony takes place."  


"Um... I think... They have done that, without the mating part..."  


"What?" The woman was out of her sitting spot and pacing.  


"Yeah, they did that a few cycles ago, Alec said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Twice on the first day."  


The woman was in front of him in a blink. “Who was it that initiated it? Who asked for it? Prince Qui'na'gin or Commander Bond?"  


Shrugging, Alec ran a finger down the woman's twitching tail with got him his nose flicked. "From what I understood, Q had asked James if he wanted to float in space with him. I guess I now know why Q managed to do the device so fast or why he got defensive when I asked if he could do one for me."  


"What does it mean, Sa'ar? What does the synchronizing of the brainwaves mean? Should I get worried that James, the bloody idiot, got himself into another marriage ritual without himself knowing?"  


"Well... Kind of... It is like a test to see if the future mates are even compatible. If they are the hologram of the mate to be is coloured, consistent, they can even touch each other and in rare occasions the feelings between two can be shared. Was the hologram grainy? Or flickery?" She had hopeful look in her eyes.  


"No," Alec shook his head. "It was colourful, and I think they even kissed a few times." Alec pinched his nose.  


"This is like a soap opera..." Eve had her head on her palm, stargazing.  


Sa'ar let out something that might have been a squeal. "Did... Can you tell me if any of them FELT anything? How did their physical bodies react to that? Was there any reaction?" She quickly pulled out a small pad and tapped it, the room filling with sentences from at least ten different alien species.  


"We did not have access to Q's body at that time, since it was hidden where no one actually thought to look because that would be the first bloody place an enemy ship would fire and--"  


"Alec, focus," Eve said slowly, putting an arm on him to get him to stop ranting and lower his voice. "Focus and answer her question."  


"Right, noticeable physical reactions.... Well, James had a boner. And his arms were nub, but Q claimed it was because the machine wasn't calibrated to the right species. Should we worry about that? I mean James is a human and Q is not. Maybe this was supposed to go differently?"  


Sa'ar shook her head. :"This wouldn't have been the first time an Adari and human did this. In fact, from all the species in the known Universe, Adari prefer humans as their other halves right under their own kind. A human will always be numb the first this connection was done. And the sexual arousal is nothing but good news as that is how the human brain shows its compatibility with the waves sent by the Adari."  


"I think... You should talk about this with James and Q instead of us." Alec sighed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.  


"Eve can tell you how well that went. I guess I will try to talk to them tomorrow because it seems they are done with me today."  


"Not tomorrow..."  


"Yes, yes, I know..."  


***"

 

Q... If you are so curious as to how I look, maybe I should... Disrobe..." It took James some thinking to do, but he decided that if Q had any questions, he could ask them James and not some third person who managed to insult them quite a few times.  


Q was rubbing his face, avoiding his eyes. "I...should we do this? I mean, I am curious to how yours looks like. It doesn't actually have an eye, does it?"  


"What? No! Who- Alec, of course. He told you it was also called a one-eyed monster because he decided to give you an entire list of synonyms for it, didn't he?"  


Q nodded. "I am guessing that it's not an actual third leg, nor something called a snake?" James shook his head and Q groaned, hiding his face in his palms. "I am horrible at this, James, and I swear that I do not mean to insult you no matter how I react to when you are showing it to me." He peeked between his fingers, tips of his ears red. "Which, if you don't mind, I would like to see today. I cannot show you both of mine, as I'd need to empty the first to get to the second, but it is enough to see just the first because the second looks the same."  


As was usual for him now, James gently pushed Q's hands away from his face and cupped his chin, rubbing their noses together. "I will take no offense and I ask you to do the same." He rubbed their noses again and chuckled. "This is an Eskimo kiss, by the way."  


"But our lips aren't touching," Q pointed out, rubbing their lips together. "Shouldn't this be an Eschimo kiss? What's an Eskymoe?  


James stole a quick peck from him before starting to guide him towards his room - really theirs by now and the closet mostly Q's because no one could deny buying the man all the clothes he touched and couldn't stop doing that afterwards. "Eskimo, love. And the word is a generalization of the Inuits and the Yupiks which are humans, just like me. I am a Caucasian, by my species way of categorizing its own."  


Q nodded. "By why not the lips?"  


James took a deep breath. "Ah, well... It's a really long story, but the short version is this: the misconception of the Eskimo kiss is kind of rude, but the act itself is very loosely based on a Inuit greeting done between loved ones or family members."  


"And because Eskimos lived in the coldest area of Earth. It would get so cold that their exhale became frost on their eyebrows and eyelashes. So in order to protect their mouths and lips from a frost bite they realized that brushing their noses is so much better and besides," James rubbed their noses again and Q giggled. "I just love doing this with you, so consider it a gesture of affection I have for you."

 

While talking James got rid of his one piece body suit and was standing just in his pants. "Q, if you feel uncomfortable with me naked, just tell me and I will get dressed." He nodded as if to himself and pulled the pants down his tights and off his legs altogether. He was shivering a bit because Q somehow liked colder temperatures even if he spent most of his time wrapped in quite a few layers. Giving the other man the full view of turning around he added. "Well, what do you think?"  


Q tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, moving closer. "It doesn't look like a third leg, as Alec has described it."  


James coughed, holding back from covering himself. "It's because of the cold, honestly. Now, I am not saying that I am huge, but I am slightly above average when it's flaccid. And when it gets hard, it grows."  


"Oh, my first one does that. And I always forget you get cold." Before James could stop him or tell him how bad of an idea that was, Q was on his knees, rubbing his member between his really warm and soft hands. "Ah, I see what you meant. It's bigger."  


"Q, Q, I can't believe I am saying this, but please stop it," he breathed out, biting on his thumbs. "That will make it and me do things that we still haven't talked about."  


Q jumped on the other side of the room, looking terrified. "So it works in a similar way to mine. I am sorry, I did not mean to intrude!"  


And the curious look on Q's face was back.

 

"What other things do you have in mind?"  
James groaned. "What happens when two males have an intercourse with each other?" He squared his shoulders.  


"Well... I've never... Um... What is the word for it? I've never had an intercourse, so I don't know." Q hung his head in shame. "Are you sure you want to see mine?"  


"Darling love," all perverted thoughts left James at once. "Of course I want to see you... All of you. I am in for long term. I am not sure there is anything that would scare me away from you, but if you don't want to, you don't have to do it. I can get dressed and we can forget this ever happened." He was trying to find his pants and hastily put them on.  


"No... It is only fair that I... I want you to see me... It's just that I've never been naked in front of anyone else but myself."  


"Love, don't do it because it is fair. Do it if ans because you want to." James rested his hands on his hips and straightened his back. "I can wait, if you want me to wait. "  


Q shook his head and quickly started to undress, standing naked in front of James, reminding the human of the marvel statues of Gods he had seen as a child back on earth - minus the heavy muscular mass, but that only made Q even more Godlike in James" eyes.  


"This is me," Q said slowly. "The runt."  


James forgot all there was and just crushed Q in an embrace. He was gently running his hands all over Q's body when he felt the man shaking again.  


"What's wrong? What is it? Did I make you sensitive again?" James started firing questions and was even more alarmed to see Q crying. "Darling love, what is it?"  


"Are you... Are you checking my body for muscles? I can assure you there are none. There never were, no matter how hard I've tried." Q shivered again. "I've tried everything, back at home. And I was even thinking about the surgery..." He couldn't finish his sentence because Bond was kissing him and even trying to pry his lips open.  


At first, Q relaxed and closed his eyes and even almost parted his lips to let James' tongue in - a French kiss, as Alec had named it, an enzyme test on his own planet, done really late into the relationship, almost before coupling to determine the flow of the second organ, as far as he could remember - but when James moved his arms around again, Q turned his head away, stopping the kiss.  


"I was giving you a hug," James panted out, angling himself away from Q when he felt himself become stiffer still. ”I love you as you are. I don't care about muscles. You are perfect as far as I am concerned."  


"When why are you distancing yourself from me? I can sense you wanting to pull away? Why..." James was suddenly flush against him, their bodies pressed tightly together and Q felt something twitching next to his lower regions. "Oh... Oh... This is new..." He felt his own organ rise and become longer but not wider. "I am not sure what should I do..."  


"If you start rubbing against me and if you do it long enough, I will... No, not me per se, but the liquid inside my member will spill. I am assuming you will do the same. They look the same, so I think they might work like that." He kissed Q's ear, letting out a shaky breath as he moved involuntarily against him. "Sorry for that." Suddenly there was noise and roaring and Alec scrambling to his feet. James was in front of Q, blocking him from anyone's view.  


"Oh lord... Are you two?" Alec was laughing while sitting on his ass. "Oh god, this is so hilarious!" He stood up and tried to pat Bagheera on the head, the poor feline trying to bite his leg off.  


Q was clinging to James for dear life, face hidden in his back. "Alec, go away! Stop laughing!"  


"Sorry, sorry," Alec wheezed out, turning with his back to them. "I promise I only saw the hair on your head, Q. The one on your shoulders."  


"Get out!" James screamed, throwing a shoe at Alec's head. "And learn how to knock, you bloody pest!"  


"When I am having my back turned at you both, Sa'ar wanted to apologize and invite you to a 5 dish + dessert dinner in candle light on observation deck in 2 hours time." Alec was still chuckling. "You'd better get dressed in your most fancy clothes before leaving the bedchamber..." Shoe hit him in the head and he ran out the doors cackling like a hyena.  


Q fell on the bed, curling on himself. "I am never leaving this room again. And... James, is it normal for it to go away on its own?"  


James chuckled, sitting next to him, caressing his head. "Yeah, it's normal when we are interrupted like that. I'll close the door next time or I will rent an island or ship on whatever planet we are on." Or tie Alec to a chair in a box and send that box in space just to be sure.  


"That's going to be hard to do if I am never leaving this room again, James," Q whined, shivering when James kissed his hair.  
"Don't you worry, darling love, it's just an expression besides I think Alec will have courtesy not to mention it at all cuz if he did, I will chop his balls off." James kissed Q's hair once again and went to dress.  


"Well come on, my own personal royalty member, we need to get dressed for the fancy dinner..." He laughed when Q lamely tried to throw a pillow in his vague direction.  



End file.
